A New Breakthrough

Changing of Blog

2009-05-13T23:57:00.003+08:00

wow....almost coming to half a yr where i didnt update at this blog lol

anyway this is the final post here.

i'm gg to transfer to my multiply blog permanently instead of having 2 blogs (where i always neglected this one =p)
not to mention it is tiring to blog at 2 places (not that i do it very often =p)

if ur still interested to read then can go to

http://tiffanysoh22.multiply.com

although the frequency of blogging is *cough* not too much *cough*
but hey better than almost 6mths here lol haha....
cya there =)

P.S. i didnt realised the link didnt show up lol. Paiseh =p

Last Poly Holiday!!!!!

2008-12-05T01:34:00.003+08:00

time flies suddenly this is the last sem of poly life for us
which ends in abt 70+ days (according to winson's countdown lol)
will miss sch i guess
especially seeing my friends everyday =)

3 wks holiday and i have a whole list of to-do-things

1) Complete 3 projects -FYP, Maths and PM
2) Go gym every wk (maybe even more than a wk sometimes)
3) Learn how to play guitar properly (at least a simple song)
4) Buy a bk to learn sign language =D=D
5) A LOT A LOT of Xmas presents *faints*
6) Cycling!!!! =D=D=D
7) Go for Xmas cg!!!! (i wan i wan)
8) Pack my shelf (super messy after exams...actually just as messy before it) =p
9) Go out with friends!!!! (A long list of them....no choice fifi popular) =D

erm....i think might have more but oh well cant rmb

oh and I love Perkee MOST!!!
and I love Cl!!!
and I love Joy!!!
and actually a lot more
haha....but aiya u gals know who u all lol =p

P.S. I miss yl, pris and jy too =(
must really find a time to go out....
all of us super hard to meet up each time =(=(

Roaring Success!!!!!!!!

2008-10-17T22:37:00.002+08:00

i think the whole team of BBA is super exhausted today
but i'm sure all of us did it with a great smile on our faces =)
we have a record of 2k+ sales for this friday!!!
2 ways to describe this fri
ROARING SUCCESS!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahaha.....our receipt for records sales was like 2m long i think =D

not to mention the overwhelming crowd when it's not even 11am
we started sales and collection at 10.45am
and were super busy till 11.30am
just when we thought can take a small break
the crowd came in again lol =D=D=D
photos with joy
will upload it soon =D=D=D

and another amazing thing is that
cl and me were predicting ytd that maybe today
in total we can only reach 250 books from 180+ books
coz is last day of collection
then at night i prayed to God hoping for it to hit 300 books
and wat do u know!!!!
we hit 300+!!!!!!!!!!
and our profit this time for one day is already 4x more
than our all our previous BBA!!!!
and we are extending our collection date to tue
due to overwhelming response lol
Praise God!!!!!

i believe this time is really breakthrough for our BBA
i believe we can move to greater heights from now on
even though our batch is graduating
but i'm sure we will be gg back to BBA to hlp out whenever we can =)
Thank You
PaPa God =D=D=D

Final Buyback Asia in SP

2008-10-14T22:03:00.003+08:00

i'm super tired these few days due to the 2nd hand textbook Buyback Asia
this is the 3rd time using this name to buy and sell textbook in SP
not to mention also the last sem for us who are graduating nxt yr

super busy and sweaty these few days
carried a lot of stuff
handled tons of problems
this time there seems to be so many things to handle
due to 2 locations
thus the intensive work load and details that need to be noted
although there are new members that are taking over us
since the 4 of us are all graduating
i'm actually quite worried
2 of them always not around nor involved in the impt meetings and decisions
1 of them quite stubborn and a "bit" rude sometimes
1 is like so quiet always in his own world and always disappear
quite a number of conflicts and tension
haiz...can it work onwards???
but then again
i am gg to be a peace-maker not just a peace-hoper
so will need to do something before whole thing ends

Tmr is the start of BBA le!!!
quite excited actually to see the results
but i know will be super tiring as well
thank God we got all the buying guide done
let's pray hard and have faith that God will bless us all the way!!!

DRIVING LICENSE!!!!!

2008-10-08T23:54:00.002+08:00

new blogskin due to the fact that i lost the pic that someone else was hosting
thus losing the whole crucial nice part about the blogskin =p
yaya i know noob right
but aiya i'm called fifi-noob for a reason lol

anyway the main thing i wanna blog abt is i pass my driving license!!!!
officially on 16 sep 2008
Soh Zhi Yu is a licensed driver!!!!
YEA MAN!!!! WOOHOOO!!!!
haha and up till this date 8 oct 2008
i actually drove 4 times
and 2 times was really long distance
(actually not very long but is like a whole 30mins) =p
hee.....
and ying was actually expecting a "havent drive since i pass" answer lol
sorry to dash ur hopes ying jie =p

another conclusion that i came to is that
Toyato Estima (my family's car) is really super duper nice to seat in
but super duper hard to drive =_+
haha of course la passenger so much better ma can no need care abt anything
i sometimes really like cant keep my car in the centre of the lane
(according to my dad lol)
and he actually said i was quite "heng" to pass =_=
but hey i pass BTT FTT and practical test all in one go le
can be it "heng" all the way meh!?!?
cannot be!!! hahaha....
but oh well still thank God i have a lenient tester ba i guess =p
although i have to re-learn how to park without poles now.....
other than that and the fear of my big 7-seater family car
i actually still rather enjoy driving
at least i'm in control of wat i can see right in front of me =)

holiday ending in 2 days
1 day for me actually coz fri will be doing buyback stuff for whole day
haiz...this time buyback have like a million stuff to handle
but luckily got a new batch
and they seems to be quite ok
so most of the time i'm just cracking my head, dying a lot of brain cells
and using my mouth to talk
where they do most of the work =p
not that i didnt do wor
but hey i'm SENIOR liao le wor
got senior citizen benefits ma
hahaha....
hope that this time Buyback will really have very gd results
God Bless =)

Long time no blog =p

2008-09-03T08:43:00.004+08:00

haha oh well it seems like my blog is all filled with spider webs lol
so i decide to blog after like ages!!!

let's see hmmm....
significant events in my life recently or wat i can still vividly rmb

FX Challenge
i think this competition did give me some deep thoughts abt my life
whether i really wanna be a trader
and a feel of how a trader is gg to be like
nonetheless quite sad ying ying and i didnt have a chance to play again in finals
but it was a really fun experience for me
not to mention the joy and jokes we made when we seen WSK being bullied by U-Know-Who
wahaha.....

Exams
argh....just feel tired thinking abt it
had been a very tough 2 wks for me
i had a lot of difficulties managing my time
not to mention self-discipline
as i had my new-found love
my beloved
PSP!!!!
and of all days i choose to get it from my sis
i choose a day when i'm in the middle of exams lol!!!
and i got stuck playing it day and night
haiz......
overall paper from easiest to hardest for me:
CF
FIA
TA
EA

EA was a KILLER!!! in caps and caps!!!!
i believe this sem exams are the hardest since my 3yrs in poly
haiz
i have a fear that EA will forward le
better pray hard
coz dun wan to see WSK for another sem!!!!

COMEX 2008
one word to describe
EXHAUSTED!!!!!!!!!!!! (more and more caps!!!)
haha....and we went to work immediately after exams lol
imagine our last paper is 9am-11.10am
and we went to suntec immediately to start work *faint*
and there goes our 4 days
suprisingly i think i did fairly well during this it show
haha quite unexpected results compared to the 1st it show
i earned 1080 in 4 days!!!
haha highest record 15 on sat
but by sun my throat really hurts
and sun results were very disappointing
i only sold 11 and the highest had 18
becoz i served far too many china guys and they nv came back =(
but oh well
it's over
just thank God i made it thru =)=)=)
and i had an enjoyable time with the rest
as usual dear leng leng is top seller
when i sold 15 sets she sold 20 lol!!!
burger also improved a lot this time
she is selling better now haha
jiayou jiayou
nxt show must 1 day hit 10 sets ;)

haiz....and i so noob
now like having flu after comex
immune system so lousy
P.S. Joy can i have urs??? haha....

so now holiday
hmm.....thinking of getting another part time job
but then again
we have to do BD *faint again*
just the thought of it is tiring
haiz......
and strangely i thought of a lot of things that i wanna do during hol
but then suddenly cant really rmb wat i said
maybe coz i juz wanna divert from studying
and think of happier stuff =p

oh well that's it for today
looking forward to my pay so we can celebrate!!!! =D=D=D

BD Phase 1 OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-07-22T23:08:00.002+08:00

finally after like ages
BD phase 1 is finally over!!!!!!!
but it is only the beginning
the phases coming will be so much more worst than this time
but this time i really cannot so last min
so rushed
so panicky lol

1hr before the presentation
we are still running all around sch looking for ways to free print our reports
(50cents per page for colour le damn exp)
in high heels, formal wear and joy carrying her sony laptop
haiz....then when we can finally print it in SB
the report turn out to be half printed
of all days to be not working
the colour printer chooses not to work just 1HR BEFORE MY PRESENTATION
WITH THE EATZI GOURMET DIVISION HEAD AND JACK'S PLACE DIRECTOR!!!!
so in the end it did print out like 3/4 of the report in colour
and the rest i paid money to print =_+
luckily not a lot and the appendix all those can print in black
haiz......

overall the presentation and Q&A seems to go quite ok
we are able to ans most of the qns they give
and the rest of our BD classmates were kind enough not to ask additional qns
haha....

but then 1 day after the presentation
my cough turned worst liao
was already a bit bad during presentation
today my voice changed
and throat hurts
losing voice soon sia.....

oh well
sch ending in a few wks time
and mid-sem exams are coming
less than 1 month liao
must buck up
then i really wan to go for a vacation in the sep holiday le
will go look for cruise materials when free haha
and NOOOOO Eileen Tan
we are not gg Cameron Highlands to pluck strawberries
while watching u and BT pat tor
definitely nono
u all go urself haha....

FYP Phase 1 Presentation in LESS THAN 12HRS

2008-07-21T00:18:00.005+08:00

haiz.....BD is a torture
but then again which final yr project is not huh =p
presentation tmr
Eatzi Gourmet division head and maybe director will come
for those who duno
Eatzi is a subsidiary under Jack's Place
i'm doing Q&A with meatball Joy
tried to think up of qns they will ask
but then again
they will normally ask things that are not in the report
then how am i supposed to predict
if we had already missed it out in the report lol
so here i am blogging haha....
(and becoz Joy blogged 1st lol so not like i slacking or wat)
i'm having cough too
die sia tmr better dun keep coughing
dun dare to eat medicine now also
coz normally will worsen before getting well
haiz....
let's hope everything will go well ba....
************************************************************************
from now on i'm gg change and blog my spiritual life at my multiply acc
but will still blog at this place
if i feel like posting non-spiritual stuff lol
if ur interested it is
http://tiffanysoh22.multiply.com
if just wan to know my normal life
then just read this blog can liao :)

k that's all for today
gg over the other side to blog lol

Projects Projects & PROJECTS!!!!!

2008-07-15T22:38:00.002+08:00

sigh big time....
so many projects in such a short time
i think all of us who are rushing for projects all becoming like pandas
or if not like zoombies
the only thing i can think of when i'm not occupied is that
i need to do projects!!!!
haizzzzzz........

oh and congrats to meatball Joy for passing her driving test
haha can drive le wor
so cool
and also panda leng who pass her BTT on the same day
and who said July 14 is a bad day huh =p

haiz tired tired tired
when is holiday coming
sep seems like a long time from now
not to mention my driving test is on sep
scared sia
pray that i will get a gd tester!!!!!

oh well so stressed till like so no life la
now downloading nds new games
that i had not touched for months i think
becoz i'm sianz of viwawa and playing bridge lol!!!

ok ok back to projects!!!
*faint*

Forced Entry by the 2 noobies!!!!!!!!!!

2008-07-03T10:28:00.004+08:00

in TA practical lab now
damn noob BT and eileen forcing me to update my blog
then noob ying not coming coz she say need to rush for FIA and EA
haiz....

project outstanding:
Business Development Progress: 20% roughly
Equity Analysis Progress: 0%
Fixed Income Analysis: 0%

and BT and eileen behind me saying put 100% coz ying noob would have done all lol
so bad of them la
when ying ying is skipping class to do OUR GRP PROJECTS!!!!
we are having a debate now
but nvm....
noobies!!!!

anyway this sat we have china itp gathering buffet at lao beijing le
cool imagine china gathering at a chinese beijing restaurant
not to mention we got a lot closer during that beijing period
haha.....
looking forward to it!!!!

haiz must organise my time properly
so many things to do
then the telemarketer job at orange tee
duno how will it be
pay increment??? quit??? watever!!!
but aiya now most impt of all
i wan to concentrate on my driving
test date on sep 16
and the 2 noobies behind me acting out a drama
damn disgusting and noob!!!!!
gg to outcast them and eat with panda liao!!!!
sianz pok!!!

so tired compilied survey from 8pm to 3am ytd night
then today class at 10am
almost cannot wake up!!!!
and noobies behind me commenting at EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE I TYPING!!!!
k i stop NOW!!!!!

Busy Busy Busy....

2008-05-30T23:23:00.003+08:00

haiz have been intending to blog since the past wk
but didnt really have the time and mood to do it
now now BT rong quite "BTing" commanding me to update
i have no choice but to do it lol
if not kanna "hoot" by eileen wahaha....

this wk i'm so busy and stressed till i almost cant breathe
and it is only the 1st wk of the many wks to come
from now on mostly every wk schedule
Monday
Go sch at 8am-4pm
Work at OrangeTee as telemarketer 6.30pm-9.30pm
Reached home abt 11pm mostly will slp around 1am or 2am

Tuesday
Go for 1 driving practical session 9.50am-11.30am
Go for class at 1pm-3pm
Go home rest and prepare to tuition my sis on eng
Start tuition with her at around 7pm-9.30pm
(vomit blood time, say her one sentence, she rebuke with 5 =_=")
Mark her homework
Assign her new homework for thu

Wednesday
Class at 9am-3pm
Work at 6.30pm-9.30pm
Reached home abt 11pm mostly will slp around 1am or 2am

Thursday
Class start at 10am-5pm
Go home prepare to tuition my sis 7pm-9.30pm again
Mark her tue homework
Give homework for nxt tue

Friday
Class from 9am-4pm
Go home mark my sis's daily hw given by me(accumulated over the wk)
if possible i wanna go for cg 7pm-9.30pm
reach home abt 11pm too
(provided i'm allowed and able to go)

i think i have never been so busy before
but i think this is not the end yet
projects havent really start yet
and i'm not doing my weekly tutorial qns too
if i wanna add in all these
i think i avg can only slp at 3am everyday....

although in some ways
i like being so busy
makes me feel more efficient in the usage of my time
instead of just doing useless stuff
which i had spent so much time doing in the past
need to catch up on all of them
and i think if i'm really going uni
the workload might be even heavier???

but there might be changes to our work soon
either all quit
some stay the rest quit
i think i'm a bit overboard in phrasing my words
Tiffany ah Tiffany
haiz duno did i do the right or wrong thing
if i dun press on for the ans
we will be wasting everybody's time
but by doing so
i'm indirectly causing quite a misery to someone who treats us so well
especially when her family is having a lot of things gg on too
so did i do the right thing???

and of all days and wks to choose
someone decided to disclose to me a shocking news on thu 29 May 2008
although it might be a prank
but seems unlikely to be
but chances are still there
AIYA!!! SIGH BIG TIME!!!
i really dun wish to handle this the most actually
coz the consequences and results will be too big for me to deal with!!!

not to mention our project mates seems not very inclined to do work
haiz hopefully when we really start up our engines to do work
the work produced will be of a quality work
if not i dread to think........
HOWEVER our client still hasnt replied with comments abt our survey qns
how do we start asking and compiling the results in Jun
SBT!!!!!
i think if he still havent get back to us
i will be as BT as ah rong soon.....

ok on a lighter note
went for last 2 final theory lessons with chee leng dear dear
whew....no more theory lessons
each 100mins
we had to go through 200mins in a row after a whole day of sch
but finally it's over
Thank God cl is with me
time pass faster with her around
joking and laughing and gossiping abt tons of stuff
feel so happy with her around
maybe coz she is all bright and cheerful ba
though she really think too much at times lol
but still Thank God for letting her come into my life
she has unconsciously became a very impt person in my life
strange yr 1 we are not so close???
diff options might have done us gd after all
she is a really dear sis close to my heart =)=)=)
Thank God Thank God Thank God

sch is also very funny as usual with eileen and ah rong
i think without them my stress wont be relieved as easily as now
in 1 day they can argue and quarrel for up to 5 or 6 times
or even more i think lost count le ba hahaha
and they can be patched that many times in a day
really closer than a couple liao i think lol hahaha
ah rong is just so cute lol!!!!!
but ah rong really dun BT so much la
BT so much in one day will really old very fast le
i think u feel the effects liao right =p=p=p

PaPa God
i need ur strength and hlp in everything

Total problems i have to deal with
Fighting on to be able to go for fri cg and sat svc every wk
Going work on every mon and wed
Tuition with my sis every tue and thu
project survey and report along with presentation
deal with my upcoming final theory test
finding time to continue taking driving lessons
mid-sem test on 23 jun to 26 jun
dad's career
mum's anxiety and worrying character
my sis o lvl this yr
results for my final yr in SP

Jesus i commit everything into ur almighty hands
i really duno where will all these lead me
the only thing i know is that
i will continue to follow the path u had set for me
to shine for u as salt of the earth and light of the world
Thank U for the friends and family members u placed in my life
to lead me and to develop my character to be a better person
to love everyone around me fervently
in Jesus Mighty Name
AMEN!!!!

Zoom....it's 3rd wk of sch

2008-04-30T01:00:00.005+08:00

time flies till i duno how did i spent them
in a blink of eye it is 3rd wk of sch now
seems like after buyback asia
everything is so speedy
oh btw i earn quite a bit this time from it lol
but the job scope of wat i'm doing this time round
is twice or thrice as hard =_=
luckily got xinyi lao po/lao gong watever =_+

got a telemarketing job recommended by jessica
working mon and wed 6.30pm-9.30pm at tiong bahru
there is a reason why i wanna work till so late
close friends would know
whether my end objective will be met will have to depend on God's will

starting my basic driving lessons tmr night with chee leng and mum
actually i passed BTT already so can dun care
but still need to attend lessons sianz =_=

gg to sch these few wks is like playing whole day
i really dun have any idea wat did i learnt these 3 wks
like just go sch and have fun
especially fun if burger/ah rong (gonna call her this from now on Wahahaha)
and eileen is there hahaah

make me and ying ying a bit scared sometimes
coz watever we do to eileen
as simple as poking her
burger will "OI" us lol
then sometimes not our fault is eileen whose "skin is itchy"
come disturb us
also ying ying and me kana scold lol

Moral of story: Stay away from BTing ah rong AT ALL TIMES!!!!

hahaha ok la maybe kua zhang a bit la not so bad
but still got a bit bad
though is very funny though hahaha...

moving on church and cg
i got a very strong feeling of growth for both
i think cg might really be able to multiply again this yr
due to hard work of catherine :)
though sometimes feel a bit out of place
coz in china so long
then come back got a lot of new faces
but all seems pretty nice
need to get to know them more

this wk cg got sushi making and ice-cream float outreach le
I WANNA GOOOOO
but it's during labour day le
parents will be at home
duno can go or not
ask mama tmr =p

today cg had a 6am-6pm fasting
it had been ages since i lasted fasted i think
maybe 6 months or longer
really long le
considering the fact that i fasted occasionally in months of mid 2007
i remembered i actually quite like fasting
last time before china
2 meals a day seldom more than 2 coz dun really eat breakfast
after coming back from china
i'm eating like 5 meals a day there in china
and recently 3 or 4 meals
(excluding breakfast,meaning i eat 2 lunches in like 4 hrs)

and today when i fasted and pray
i really didnt feel hungry
even though i seems to be keep walking past places with nice food
which is very tempting and appealing to me
that really shows the power of prayer!!!

ok gg to slp liao very tired after coming back from work
oh and the reason i'm staying till now 1.20am
is becoz dad bought me a new pc at around 600 bucks
but the specifications are amazingly fast and gd
moral of story: DIY PCs are soooooooo much cheaper
but then coz no original window xp operating system
which sells at 125 bucks =_+
so here is daddy trying to do something about it but failing
oh and he is doing it since like 8pm+ till now
BIGGEST MORAL OF STORY: I GOT THE GREATEST DADDY
SADDEST MORAL OF STORY: Guai guai daughter cannot tahan liao very sleepy

thus i'm abandoning my daddy and pc
off to find my love my BED-DY!!!!
who is calling out for me

Ciao

1st Day of Sch

2008-04-14T23:46:00.003+08:00

well in one word it was
HECTIC
haha i think my phone kept ringing lol
luckily i have free incoming calls and free campus call
not much results shown today
but at least we know a lot of ppl know abt us already
hopefully tmr will be a better day
God Bless :)

didnt really feel like blogging just now
but tong yan showed me her blog at multiply
abt her SOT stuff
i'm very amazed at it
can God really do all these?
i also really envy them
not just being able to go for SOT
but the courage and faith to take up this action

i think she and vonne really enjoyed herself
just reading her blog made me learnt a lot of stuff
cant imagine how much more she is learning there
i am so happy for her =)
will i have the chance to be like them?

the happiness
the edifying by the Holy Spirit
the freedom
will i even become as spiritual as her???

i know she has her share of burden and worries too
but she really lifted it up to God
i thought i could do the same
but i often found myself back to the starting pt
i'm really missing out on a lot of things

today 1st day back in sch
i must say i received quite a few comments
nice one of course
abt how i have changed to be better on the outside
though i think i changed a lot more on my mindset and thinking
the trip in China really impacted me in quite a few ways
other than the fact i'm eating quite a lot now haha
btw i only gained 0.5kg despite eating so much in China lol

i think through the separation with my parents,church and spore
i know wat is impt to me now
wat i really miss when i'm in China
and wat i really need and wan
it is also a time for me to rest and heal my past wounds
i had lots of fun and enough of a lot of things
like the email kim had sent me

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.

I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

i did endure enough pain to know that how much happiness i had =)

Papa God
there is still that one thing i really need
when will it come to past?

BACK FROM CHEENA!!!!!!

2008-04-05T23:31:00.005+08:00

haha i'm finally back from china
after 7 weeks
almost 2 months
thought it is a very long period
but in actual fact it flies faster than the SQ airline lol!!!
finally dun have to use youhide.com to view ppl's blog liao :p

i miss the cheap and nice food there
and of course the life there
everyday after a hard day at work
meet chee leng they all for dinner
and crap watever we have to say abt our bosses
or watever stupid things we see ppl do
or even wat nicest/worst lunch we had hahaha

but now that i'm back
have to deal with Buyback Asia stuff again
not to mention the ITP afterwork
like the reports, feedbacks
and also whether should i join Friendchild
i'm actually appointed with rank and everything
but will i be able to handle all the workload???

stress!!!!
but i believe i will be shown the right path to go!!!

ok going to post some photos from china haha
here goes

Burger's sad face coz her just bought china card with value of 50 yuan was used up in like 5 or 10mins talk with her mum LOL!!!

What happens when camera is around

Take 2

Haha we were eating yogurt when we saw Joy's nose including the remains of the delicious yogurt THUS without her knowing TADA birth of this photo LOL!!!!

Burger's PROFESSIONAL CAMERA!!!
Haha which consists of sooooo much photo that she had to burn a dvd for us hahaha....

haha ok lazy liao post more nxt time
internet so laggy....

Last wk of in China

2008-03-26T10:39:00.006+08:00

finally itp coming to an end
i really got sick and tired of writing reports
and the reports are harder to write than poly's one
but that's not the worst
the worst is that after working so hard for it
our overall grade is only a B+
sigh.....
something even worst is that
EVERYONE and i mean really EVERYONE i ask who is in this China ITP
ALL GOT A.........

sigh.....
no mood for anything liao
sianz

i am missing Shanghai already
especially the food
but this ITP really spoilt everything

tonight gg for commom meal dinner buffet at some seafood restaurant
no appetite for anything liao
i guess i should go and listen to the
"How to handle dissapointment" audio sermon given to me by cg ppl
but i think now i cannot take in anything into my head now

You feel that everything is going against you and you are worn out and exhausted by all the conflict and quarrelling. You are trying to protect yourself but at the same time you are hiding your feelings, hoping that by so doing, you can avoid exposing yourself to attack. Hopefully this will give you the chance to get on with your life. Nevertheless, you should be very careful to try to avoid stirring up any opposition which might endanger your plans:

For some time now you may have been subjected to considerable physical illness and or emotional distress. This may have taken a severe toll and you feel both physically and mentally worn out. Your self esteem has been reduced and you now need a peaceful environment which will permit you to effect full recovery.

It is hard for you to accept that your needs and desires are misunderstood by almost everyone within your sphere of influence and there is no one to rely on. Your pent-up emotions and inherent egocentricity make you quick to take offence, but as matters stand you realise that you'll have to make the best of things as they are.

Your stress and anxiety are a result of an emotional disappointment. It could well be that the emotional relationship is no longer running smoothly and you have come to the end of your tether. On the one hand you would like to free yourself from this relationship altogether, yet on the other hand, you don't want to lose anything nor risk the uncertainty of throwing away something - something that's precious, something that could be the 'Real Thing'. Perhaps for the first time in your life you really don't know which way to go and it is these contradictory emotions that are causing you the untold stress. You are pretending to the world that you don't care but even this air of pretence is causing you much heartache.

You are moody and depressed at this time but it will pass. All of your hopes and dreams seem to have gone astray and you are fearful of planning further for the future. Disappointment at the non fulfilment of your hopes and the fear that to formulate fresh goals will only lead to further setbacks have resulted in considerable anxiety and you try to escape from this by withdrawing into yourself. But that is not the answer. You have the power to succeed, believe in yourself... all is possible to him who believes.

the last paragraph not accurate
i wont really withdraw ba
just need a while to get over it

God i need ur grace
help me to handle everything
Amen

4th Week of Work...

2008-03-19T09:57:00.003+08:00

time really flies
so fast i am now in the 4th week of work in Shanghai
i think in my cliche i am considered quite fortunate
burger and i have long lunch hrs 11.30am-2pm
work hrs are 9am-5.30pm
even though burger and my work are quite intensive
doing report every wk
gg crazy over the financial data and prospectus of companies
i think we really did learn stuff

the boss told us to do translation for a 22 page report on this mon and tue
we were shocked coz is from chi to eng
and the topic is regarding some gas industry
totally no link to wat we are exposed to
tough day la
i think it is even worst than doing report in some ways
coz we really dun understand a lot of words
then very funny we ask all our china itp friends who has msn
XinYi-from Malaysia
George-from Taiwan
Hanming-from China
Ourselves-from Singapore
haha everyone like duno la
how pathetic it is sia
we are supposed to translate 2 pages per person each day
end of monday
we only done 3/4 of a page TOGETHER!!!

so tough le
then we told our boss
he told us to try another day
for tue
then not so bad la
coz a lot of repetitive stuff
so we did till BEGINNING of page 4 lol
at 5.30pm we go ask him then he say he no do liao
so we just gg to concentrate on our Discounted Cash Flow(DCF) Model
sounds familar right???
yes it's from MA and FF....faint!!!!

so here we are supposed to do yet i blogging
and burger talking to ceyang and her friends haha....

recently got quite a few things happen in this trip
dun wanna talk abt it
but at least it's over
and we got the results that we want
but also through these 2 weeks
that i really thought abt a lot of stuff
how politics certain stuff can be
and i used to thought ignorantly
that these kind of things cant really happen yet
while i'm still schooling

i think like xin ji quite heavy
but still i understand
everyone wants to protect themselves
so we all in turn will become cunning
it's a cruel world
like wat tv always say be eaten or eat others
either u become strong or be prepared to be eaten by the strong

but like wat i told burger
church always teach us
we all have talents within ourselves
they can make u very strong and powerful
and from there
either u turn very bad
or u struggle to maintain to be good
but it is actually not a struggle if u think this way
"I wanna use my talents for the good,weak and the poor"
we are who we are for a reason...God's reason
keep that faith and i believe it will be done

i did a test just now at
http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg/

My results are

You have always longed for tenderness, love and a sensitivity of feeling into which you would like to blend. You are a very gentle warm person and responsive to 'All things bright and beautiful'. This personifies a caring person, a person who 'needs' and indeed 'needs to be needed'.
(i didnt really think of it till it is put into words. I want to be needed)

In the past there have been - and maybe there still are - many things that you have had to do without. You have now decided to set your sights on a position or situation that could give you greater prestige and which will afford you considerable self esteem.
(true...i wanna do that. I'm gg to be involved in something like that which not a lot of ppl know abt it yet)

You feel tired - worn out and listless. The last thing that you want to do is to be in an open conflict with those around you that are forever tormenting you. What to do? That's the rub. You are feeling that you are being choked - unable to breathe.
(this is wat i dread...coz i'm really in this situation now.)

Presently, you are experiencing stress because of restriction on your independence. You need and seek respect from other people and it is essential that they appreciate you for yourself and not for what they would like you to be. You have your own beliefs and convictions and you would like to be respected for them. You are anxious to avail yourself of every opportunity that may come your way but nevertheless, come what may, you have the need to control your own destiny without imposed limitations or restrictions.
(Scaringly true....sigh..i hope they can see this. For those who know my problems u all know who i'm referring to)

You wish to be left in peace... no more conflict and no more differences of opinion. In fact you just don't want to be involved in arguments of any shape or form. All you want is for 'them' to get on with it - and to leave you alone.
(Will they do it though??? it seems like a far far away dream)

this is soooooooo true...
i'm going to do it once in a while
to see if there are any changes

I miss Singapore
I miss my family
I miss my cell grp
I miss my church
but i dread going back
to face the problems that i have run away temporarily from
to face the work that i'm supposed to do
to accept the responsibility that i'm going to take up
to meet the person whom i really need to talk to
to lose the temporarily freedom that i have now

Lord...I commit everything into ur hands
Give me protection Lord
Physically and Mentally
especially over my Mindset, Father
I pray all these in JESUS ALMIGHTY NAME
AMEN

Working life

2008-03-03T09:38:00.002+08:00

haiz...
it's monday again
2nd wk of work
now is currently 9.40am
burger(cairong) and i waiting for 10am
for our supervisor to give comments abt our Parkson report
and to ask him grade our logbooks ba
scared that i will get bad grades sia

and i realise i forgot to blog something
CHEENA BLOCKS BLOGSPOT & TAGBOARD!!!!
i cant go into websites with blogspot.com at the url
and i cant tag on ppl tagboard

luckily smart burger told me to use go to youhide.com
only then can we visit blogspot webby
but still very ma fan la....

last wk something very surprising happened
i was very home-sicked on last mon
so i called my mum at 12.30am
to listen to her voice
i cried a bit (ok quite a bit la)
i think i heard my mum crying a little too
but still trying to console me
we talked quite long
i think 40min ba
then after putting down the phone
i think my mum called my dad
coz he is also in china ZhangChun
i think i'm quite stupid i made my parents worried quite a bit

then on last wk tue night
dad called me saying he flying to Shanghai on wed late afternoon
i was shocked
he was actually going back spore on fri
but after hearing my phonecall
he flied specially here to Shanghai
and he accompanied me till sun
i'm really very touched

he actually can stayed in 5 star hotels
coz all his expenses can be claimed from company
but becoz of me he came to the budget Motel 168
ytd had dinner with him and sent him to take taxi to airport

as the taxi drove away
i felt very lonely
and i started crying a little
guess it is only when the taxi drove away
then did i realise how i much i will miss him

nxt wk my mum sis and grandma coming also
i'm scared coz
i dun wan that feeling of them sitting a cab and go away from me
leaving me alone again for a few weeks more

i miss church and cg a lot too....
Lord am i gg to have my breakthrough during this China ITP???

1st China ITP Post

2008-02-26T09:51:00.003+08:00

finally found some time to blog now
and i have been in china since 15 feb sia
and now is 28 feb already
finally got chance to blog

one wk in beijing is fun
everyday sightseeing and the peking duck is superior
but the tour grp food there
really cannot make it
like salt is free de
out of 10 dishes like 8 dishes is salty de
the other dish is soup which tasted like water
the other is fruit where they cant possibly mess it up ba...

so all the nice food is we
ceyang, hanming, eileen, cai rong, chee leng, joy, sze ying and i
we go find ourselves de
so is like after dinner
go back hotel put stuff
then directly go look for more food lol...

oh and we played with fireworks
1st time seen a firework right up front
but only during new year period can play fireworks
now cannot liao =p
but it's exp also la...

then went to shanghai and took 2hr bus to Suzhou
for a student exchange and 4hrs lecture (faint)
fell asleep during the 1st 2 hrs lecture lol....

then officially started work on mon feb 25
1st day of work was quite bad i think
not as in during the office itself
inside the office actually quite slack for 1st day
is the journey to and fro
that day quite hectic for me

squeezed up the stupid 123 bus
packed like sardines
ppl move pass u is LITERALLY BUTT RUBBING BUTT
30mins+ bus journey
walk in the rain to mrt station
damn far with high heels and hurting feets along with burger
walked at least 15mins in the rain WITHOUT UMBRELLA
wind was VERY STRONG
finally reached mrt squeezed in
(and i thought mrt in spore was bad)
took 2 stops reached
walked another 10mins to office

then go into meeting room
waiting for supervisor
realisd that my coat maybe got a hole somewhere
my whole blazer and pants covered in feathers la
feet very pain
in the end had to buy a new coat and shoes
spend a lot of money on transport everything

oh well very home sick on that day la
called my parents talk very long
my dad actually fly here on wed
coz my mum and him very worried abt me
coz i cried a little over the phone

very touched and now my dad is staying in this
budget motel 168 along with me
when he can stay in some 5 star hotel
and claim company haiz...

oh and 1 very impt thing
gpa released ytd and i got.....
MY 3.4 GPA!!!!
haha that is my goal for the year 2008
and i reached it before end of oct hahaha....

thank God for everything.
continue to give me strength Lord.

It's soooo near now....

2008-02-13T15:58:00.007+08:00

didnt managed to blog for quite a while
busy with china itp preparations
think everyone gg crazy abt their check in or hand carry luggage lol

anyway for my CNY
i must say it has been the best over all the years
i got the highest record of ang pao money compared to past 18 yrs
Thank God for the blessing =)

visiting was really fun
i didnt use to enjoy it in the past
but i really did have a lot more fun this yr
though if my cousins were there
it would be more fun
but oh well
cant have the best of both worlds =p

10 Feb 2008 Sunday Church Svc
today msg was really abt making marriages work
more for the adults
but as i listened on
i think a lot will be useful in future
pastor kong analysed abt husbands and wives

Husbands's roles are to lead the relationship & love his wife
most of the time the relationship fail
is becoz of the husbands fault

a lot of times it is becoz the men didnt realise their promise
thus the women didnt get wat they are supposed to get
then the women will turn to be manipulative, cunning
all becoz of their husbands fault
then the example of Adam and Eve
Tamar and her father-in-law
make me thought of a lot of things

Wives are supposed to be a helper & submissive to their husbands
hard to do in this century
but i must agree some parts is really very true

then of course the golden phrase of the svc
Maturity does not comes with age, it comes with acceptance of responsibility.

i remember i always used to say guys nowadays are not matured enough
and i thought they would matured over the years
this svc proved me wrong
it is only when they accepted wat a man's responsibility is supposed to be
then when they truely come to maturity

at the end of svc
pastor kong asked all husbands and wives to go down to the altar
they were given a rose
and a string with a rose that is supposed to tie on wrists
they renewed their vows infront of the whole church
it's really like getting married once again in a church
but this time
is with hundreds or maybe even thousands of couples
the atmostphere was really romantic
love is in the air
i think everyone including myself wished they were married at that pt
as the couples looked at their spouse lovingly and once again say the magic word
"I DO"
as they hold the rose with the string tied on the wrist
and finally with pastor saying wat everyone is waiting for
"You May Kiss the Bride"
their faces really shone with "LOVE"

pastor kong said
the only thing that can be compared to being in heaven with God
is being blissfully married on earth

becoz of the "LOVE"
this sentence brought back a lot of memories regarding my parents
i have the urge to get married after the svc lol....
but 1st i need to get a bf hahaha....

then after briefing by catherine ended
cg prayed for my trip to china
i even got a present and a card
along with nancy who is gg back china her home
conincidentally her home is Zhang Chun
the place where my dad is always flying to lol
i really love every single one of them
they are really so sweet =)

i just feel so blessed and happy that day
as if i got married and gg off for honeymoon hahaha....

11 Feb 2008 Monday
Catherine specially took a day off work to go out with me
i really appreciate it
i had lots of fun and we talked a lot
it has been a long time since we talk like this
learnt a lot from that talk too

some ppl seems to be simple on the outside
but they are really very complicated in their minds
cat said it's mostly due to family influence

as i talk with her i feel that actually
i really have interest in psychology
but i'm afraid of being affected by the counselee
coz i think i cant bear to listen all abt their troubles
without being affected
becoz by the time they look for help
should be quite serious liao....
plus i really nv gave myself much chances to explore further into psychology
maybe becoz i know my dad will wan me to be in biz with him

catherine also asked will i go for degree after graduating???
i really duno....

overall that 2 days really gave me a lot of food for thought
time to renew ur mindset Tiffany

flying off to china on fri 845am flight
630am have to report at airport -__-
so tempted to follow chee leng suggestion
just sleep at airport on thu night hahaha....

and i wanna faint liao at the amt of things to bring
can i just bring my whole hse over hahaha.....
especially at times like these
i wonder whether i should have applied for China
but then friends in spore ITP that started on monday
didnt seems to be very gd
oh well at least i will have fun at china =p

Bless our attachment and ITP in China Lord
Bless my friends in Spore for their attachment
Let ur presence always be with me
I pray all these in Jesus Almighty Name
AMEN!!!

It's OVER!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-01-31T21:04:00.001+08:00

a nice bye bye to end off my yr 2
as my paper officially ended
supposed to end on 4.10pm
but i finished it early and left at like 3.30pm haha...

to rank in order from easiest to hardest
erm
Technical Analysis
Business Law
Fundamental of Finance
Financial Market

should be like this ba surprisingly Blaw was not as tough as i thought
and TA was tricky on some parts especially the candlestick charts
but overall as expected it was the easiest out of all ba

sooooooooooo
this means that
time to prepare for china itp and new yr
haiz feeling dizzy just thinking abt them

thanks for the concern friends =D
really appreciate it a lot
wat is really funny is
gerald ong who composed a poem for me lol
he sent it to me in my email

i was laughing as i read
coz it gives me an idea like "rojak" poem lol
meaning he like throw everything related to me in that poem
like the song in this blog
purpose driven words
and the name of my blog breakthrough
haha.....
but after the laughter i think it's meaningful in some ways
and i can see the effort in trying to make me make the poem related to me
thanks a lot gerald ong =)

gg jack's place with chee leng they all tmr
hee....steak steak we're coming!!!!

Latest Midnight post.....

2008-01-29T01:42:00.000+08:00

i think i'm also like dear chee leng
late studying over the last wk have disrupted my sleeping hrs
i'm wide awake despite waking at 7am today and nv rested at all
and it is 1.40am as i type this blog....

i remember something i wanna post that i didnt in the afternoon
it happened on sun morning
i duno whether to cry or laugh at the matter
but i must say it really affected me a lot

i happily wake up early in morning at 6.45am
preparing to go for 9.30am church svc at expo (i live in woodlands btw)
journey is abt 1hr 30mins+
really looking forward to it
coz i didnt went last wk svc at all
due to being sicked at home for the whole wk
i still have the after effects of cough and a bit flu
happily had a shower and was refilling my water bottle
all changed and ready to go in 5mins
when my mum say "Tiffany"
i had a shocked and jumped a little
coz it was really early and it's sun
and she slp at 1am last night with me
she said my dad is awake and wan to talk with me
(he normally slp till 10am de)

as usual the result is he say i cannot go svc this wk
coz i got exams on monday (stupid fmkt!!!)
i argued with him for a while
and he asked me to go study right at that moment
7.15AM ON A SUN MORNING
to be honest i havent studied finished yet
and i planned to study on the 1hr train
but i really nv expect him to purposely
YES PURPOSELY wake up so early
TO STOP ME FROM GG CHURCH SVC
and he was even taking midnight 1am flight to china

end results i lost of course
i realise i can nv ever win my dad in arguments
and i was soooooo angry
that i knowing i cant study with that angryness
WENT BACK TO MY BED IN TEARS AND FELL ASLEEP
can someone even imagine my anger???

when i woke up it was abt 11am
and dad had to meet some ppl before he flies off on sun night
which is right on that day
so he was away
then my mum told me something abt wat he said when i went back to slp
to my mum

"This gal asked her to study then went back to slp"
"still have to prepare the 6800 rmb for her china itp"
"bought luggage bag and spent so much money for her china itp"
"then u this mother still go mkt buy breakfast for her to eat"
he said all these in a joking manner (according to my mum)
my mum was laughing as she was saying all these

after saying i laughed a *fake laugh* and my mum went to do hsework
and i was left with my fmkt notes
staring blankly with tears in my eyes
i know u wont get to see this but
i'm sorry dad really sorry
i know u did everything for me

-spent so much money on my china itp
-applying 2 credit cards
-paying abt $150+ for all my formal wears
-buying me a ELLE bag at $126
-bought a new POLO nice bag at $65
-making sure my winter cloak is warm enough
-spending $100+ on ONE cashmere long john for me to wear inside
when the place i go the most is -10 degrees
but reluctant to buy for urself when ur always travelling
to zhang chuan that is -30 degrees
-reserving all the rmb and USD for me
-bought a china calling card and topped up with lots of rmb already
-and a lot a lot more things u all have done
the list can really go on and on

overall i really really spent too much for the preparation
too much for my liking
i'm really not a person for famous brands
heck u tell me abt all those brands
i would not even think of wanting to have them
nor do i have the interest to find out
i'm happy with 3 for $10 buck stuffs
so actually i really dun like brand talks especially with gal grp

they even plan to go shanghai during march to visit me
coz whole family worry abt me
being the 1st time away from home
and yet i still always argue with u abt church and cg
dad i really loved u and mum a lot a lot

sometimes i really rather they dun treat me so gd
i'm not worth it
wat have i done to receive such gd parents
and wat have i done to repay their kindness???
arguing again and again with them abt church and cg

i kept thinking if only
if only they treat me badly
i will have the excuse of being unhappy with them and
i wont be feeling so guilty
but who am i trying to fool *cold laugh*

i really dun demand all those luxuries
i dun care abt them at all actually
and i thought back to something
the reason i wanna go for this china itp
MAIN MAIN REASON
is becoz i wanna have a breakthrough
i wanna get past of having a curfew
coz when i come back from china
i can proudly say i'm a big gal
CANNOT have curfew!!!!!
so i can go church cg and friends outing for as long as i want

another thing he said as we wait for cab with him downstairs
"Tiffany better get ur driving license soon"
"I'll buy a smaller car for u to drive with GPS system
so u wont get lost"

i nv said a single word
i just hugged him tightly
with thousand and thousands of sorry in my heart
but i nv even uttered it once
not even once

i finally managed to cry out while typing this
feeling so unhappy but tears wont come out

i guess this is the reason for my moodyness since sun morning
now then i realise
THIS IS THE REASON
i'm really a selfish idiot
BAKA AHO!!!!

even at this moment he is working hard for the family
in Zhang Chun of China
that is cold till -30 degrees
my heart hurts when he come back
with the dried cracked skin and rashes due to the coldness
i still cannot forget that image

i'm at the cross junction again Lord
so useless right
steadfast at 1 moment
wavering the nxt

i think the poem at the bottom of my blog really reflects my life
SECOND CHANCE
if really given a 2nd chance
i really duno whether will i make the same decision again
will u Tiffany???
will I???

i duno wat i should do
wat i can do now
can anyone teach me???
i dun even know who to ask for advise
who is the one in a right place to give me advise???

maybe i can only continue to go for china itp
maybe my feelings and thoughts will be cleared after it

i hate the word "maybe"
it represents unclear and no focus
but it actually represents my life
a "maybe" life

conclusion of this entry
great love = great stress???
MAYBE i still havent found purpose in my life?("maybe" word again)
i wanna forget abt all these
even though it is an irresponsible action
i wont be able to forget ba
becoz Tiffany is a responsible person
or am I?
MAYBE my character just doesnt allow me (LAST "MAYBE")

it is 3am already....i really should get to slp
if i could manage to slp
MAYBE just hide under the blankets ba (NOT AGAIN!!!)

1 more to go....

2008-01-28T15:49:00.000+08:00

whew....after wat seems like ages
only left one more paper TA
after that is new year
and time to start preparing for china ITP stuffs

a bit stressed over certain things
cant really put my finger to wat
haiz....
got a feeling that once exams are over
a lot of things are gg to happen
gd or bad i duno maybe both
can time just stop....

list of things to do
-meet up with yilin
-hopefully complete my last few lessons of bs
-sign up for final driving theory
-start packing for china ITP (a lot of things in included)
-settle my laptop stuffs with webcam etc...
-meet up with others for farewell????

really a lot of things i need to do within a short time
*yawn* go rest le today fmkt really very early sia....

Exams is just around the corner....

2008-01-19T01:10:00.000+08:00

i really shouldnt be blogging now
becoz there is blaw and ff exams on nxt wed and thu
and i only read through once of blaw
with my 1/4 done ff notes by the side of my table

but i'm sick haix
coughing and slight fever
duno whether is it becoz the flu jab like weakened my immune system
or maybe becoz i got spread by my mum
or maybe just simply becoz this is the season of many sickness
everyone around me falling sick....

everyone is so stressed for this exam
i'm a bit afraid too coz i really havent really digest blaw
and now i had to start on ff
really must manage my time well
but then
i NEED TO GET WELL 1ST!!!!
the medicine making me all drowsy and uncomfortable haix

just changed my blogskin
even though the previous fairytale is nice
i dun like the way i have to click so many times to see my friend's blog
and i cant get to put music i wanna listen to
so Bye Bye old blogskin....

this blogskin gives me another special feeling
and i think it will reflect how i feel when i'm going china for 2 months
so put it 1st lol.....

talking abt china itp
i'm confirmed gg shanghai already
with dear chee leng and joy they all
but i think we will be separated from eileen le
it's gonna be sad
less one person to play ds together
i will miss hearing her complaining abt anything and everything =(

God give us the strength to endure through this tough period
and we will look forward to CNY with a bright smile and healthy body
I pray in Jesus name
AMEN =D

First REAL Christmas in my life.....

2007-12-26T00:28:00.000+08:00

hectic beginning of Christmas
i'll explain it in shorter terms
MRT station got technical problems
then another stop got ppl jump down/pushed down
MRT delayed a lot
chee leng & serkee late
thiam hee waited for half an hr for me at expo(but he joined carolyn afterall)
sms gg all crazy
some sms i supposed to received few hrs ago before svc at 12pm
came only after svc ended at 2pm+
thiam hee sms asking me where am i around 11AM+
ONLY CAME AT 11PM
so made me very doubtful of sending sms today
coz i have no way to know whether that person received it or not lol

BUT overall
sooo blessed this christmas
and so happy winston, serkee and chee leng able to go for the xmas svc
chee leng even took cab all the way to expo lol
coz Yew Tee station was one of the affected stations
the drama really outperforms themselves once again

very meaningful drama and very funny
but i think wat touched me the most is the candle's light
everyone was given one white candle
and everyone light the candle
from the front to the back
left to the right
every single person is holding a lighted candle
the picture is breath-taking
i got a picture below
haha i think it's the 1st time i posted pics in my blog lol

Pic of Me,Winston,Serkee & Chee Leng

Pic of Catherine & PeiZhen

and i loved something that pastor had said
"No matter how dark it is, light will shine forth"
i think it really impacted me a lot
i looked at the candle's light and a thought came in my mind
the darkness is soooo overwhelming in the whole hall 8
where they off all the lights
yet this small little candle can lit up the whole darkness

it sort of reminds me abt ourselves
as little as we see ourselves
but one can really make the difference

after that is cg party and games
i'm the games ic in cg today lol
i always didnt really like playing games in the past
coz i dun like the forfeit
but i realised nowadays whenever i'm the games ic
i really enjoyed it haha
maybe coz i finally realised the effort needed to put up the games ba
so tend to be more appreciative nowadays

but as usual i had to be the earliest to leave
i'm really sad coz i really dun wanna go
but when i met my parents
i realised they really waited the whole day for me
and the feeling of tension when i boarded the car
and i will start feeling guilty again haix.....
but still today is the day where i spent the most time with cg ppl
from 12pm all the way till 7.30pm
but why did time have to fly so fast
it only feels like i have been with them for 2 or 3 hrs only

Christmas is really the most celebrated event in the world
but just how many ppl know and appreciate that
Jesus is the reason for this season

Thanks U Lord for everything =)

Xmas Presents.....

2007-12-23T21:11:00.000+08:00

i am so blessed this dec
dad got a final pay increasement =D

as a celebration he said to us
Mum can choose a $1000 max
and both my sis and i can choose a $500 max
went taka and mum bought a original Louis Vuitton bag
guess how much it costs
$1220!!!!
mum said the whole of her life 1st time my dad offered to buy something so exp
then when we go out
ppl kept looking at the bag lol!!!

Then my sis chosen a PSP slim
we bought in JB with 8GB memory cost around $400+ including some accessory

and the final one is of course me la
wat did i get???
the ans is
****************
**************
***********
*********
*******
*****
***
NIL=Not applicable=NOTHING!!!!

haha surprisingly ba
actually i really feel that i have no need of anything material
i have all the things i need
hp,mp3,laptop,nds

and i didnt think it is realistic to buy 2 PSP
soooooo i didnt get anything

i think it is impt to feel contented
moreover wat i really wan
cannot be satified by money

so i think i can safely say
i'm blessed my family is blessed
Safe and Sound
That is wat is the most impt for now.....

Coming to end of 2007

2007-12-17T13:29:00.000+08:00

decided to take away my previous post
coz i know i wouldnt wan someone to see it
maybe will result in another stupid action
argh....sometimes i feel so dumb

to put it simply
this yr had been the hardest yr yet
but nonetheless also the yr i learnt a lot
i feel so old after thinking back abt all of it

that's why i keep saying sometimes
to know the true world is really a cruel thing
especially when there is practically nothing much u can do abt it

still i decided to put part of my previous post in here

Love==> i'm really overwhelmed by the amt of love i received by cg ppl
despite the fact that u just knew them for a short period of time
seeing them once or twice a few wks
the amt of care and concern shown is really amazing
amt of time they are willing to spend with u
when they barely knew u
maybe someone might say that it is hypocrite

but maybe this is exactly wat the world is lacking
the ability and power to love each other
wholeheartedly without barriers
not caring abt other's views
willingly to share the things they have

from young we have been taught
things we should not do
like dun trust strangers
dun anyhow talk to others
judging ppl by their appearances
but why cant we teach the nxt generations the goodness of human???
by inserting fear and hiding in comfort zones from young
wat kind of person the child will be in the future
worry and anxiety accompanying everyone till their death beds
is there really a place where everyone wont lock their doors
when they are going to sleep

a place where there wont be a lock in everyone's heart
where is the key to unlocking the locks????
******************************************************************************

Christmas is coming soon
nv knew how meaningful it is
those who wanna know
go to
http://www.gloriousdaysn276.blogspot.com/
to read abt the true meaning of Christmas
all the symbols represents a lot of things

i'm very looking forward to Christmas svc
on Easter i was really surprised by the drama performance
i'm sure the drama ministry will outdo their past records again

Xmas coming......

2007-12-03T21:00:00.000+08:00

today has been a quite crazy day for me
think ever since i got closer to wei ying and gang
got quite crazy and carry off easily lol

one very funny thing is we thinking of
opening a morning call company!!!!
hahaha....to call all those who cannot wake up on time for sch de students
this idea came when i saw during biz law today
really soooo few students lol

hahaha.....then we started thinking up of biz names and charges
and listed potential customers
such as jingxian, van van, eileen and chee leng lol

but duno can it work or not haha.....
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

i realised i nv posted on several impt things
I OFFICIALLY GOT INTO CHINA ITP YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!
out of 60 candidates 39 got chosen
and i'm one of the blessed ones
with a lot of dbf friends dominating the trip lol

another thing
my mystery shopper assignment at Subway
i was quite apprehensive at 1st
whether will i get paid or not
so i dare not anyhow spread the news

and ytd i think
i saw an email and saw funds deposited into my paypal account =D
finally now i can safely take on the jobs by this website
haha and get paid in USD wor
not bad not bad
2 free Subway meals and get paid haha.....

holiday.........
coming in 2 more wks
and after that around 2 months will led to the end of yr 2
begins my china itp haha
then is tedious yr 3 with final year project(fyp)

this project really very ma fan
muz cross courses and get ppl from other options as grp members
didnt have a change to work with ling ling even though she's from retail
haiz.... but still God bless and i have the best grp combination
2 finance,1 retail,1 supply chain,1 marketing
thus it is soooooooo cool and i get to work with joy joy =D

ok end here for today
really very tired especially monday

somewhere in a sec sch N276 is having their breakaway camp
and here i am missing out on all the fun
haiz........

Thanks God for all the happiness
and for taking away all the worries =D=D=D

1ST AWAKE VISION!!!!!!!

2007-11-22T16:38:00.000+08:00

I had a vision when i was in MRT a few days ago
a biz vision
I was really amazed at that idea that flow through my mind
this should be the 1st vision i had when i'm awake
i had other visions when i'm sleeping and God gave me some visions

but this time is when i'm fully awake on the way to sch
i was just staring blankly at the mrt stops when it came to me

i had a vision of a restaurant
i visualized a restaurant
the idea flowed soooo fast that i was very surprised

*Due to copyright issues i wont put it here haha....*

my eyes just cant leave that Dobhy Ghaut station icon
a very very strong feeling
I have faith it WILL be done.

all these ideas came in less than 3mins out of no where
i think if i told the non-christians maybe they wont even believe it
but i believe
ONE DAY
IT WILL BE DONE AND GLORIFY HIM!!!!
AMEN

..............
...........
.........
.......
....
...

If nobody opens it i will open it myself in a few years down the road =)

P.S. I know it is going to cost a lot....
any biz partners who have capital wan to invest? LOL =p

Friday

2007-11-16T16:32:00.000+08:00

it's friday today.....
skipped 2 lessons gems and fmkt lecture
really dun have the mood to study
this whole wk i really like skipped a lot of lessons
today is friday
and i cant go to the place where i really wan to be at

have a sense of being lost
wandering around with no sense of direction
was this how i used to be when i didnt know HIM???

Make a way for me Lord.....

Waiting time will make u a stronger believer to have faith
to make a STAND.....

Changes......

2007-11-13T15:07:00.000+08:00

Looking back at the date that i last blog it was like 2 months ago
wonder a while why did i stop blogging
lazy?
tired?
maybe just nothing to say ba???

my motivation to blog again came from this in second last chp of Purpose Driven

Don't just write down the pleasant things.
Record your doubts, fears, and struggles with God.
Our greatest lessons come out of pain,
and the Bible says God keeps a record of our tears.

Whenever problems occur,
remember that God uses them to fulfill the purposes in your life:
Problems force u to focus on God,
draw u closer to others in fellowship,
build Christlike character,
provide u with a ministry,
and give u a testimony.
Every problem is purpose-driven.

the things that happen within this month really changed a lot of my life
guess my whole 18 yrs life this few weeks really the most happening

everything happens so fast
till i cannot manage
1)suddenly catherine came my hse talk to my mum
turned out to be very bad worst then before she came

2)then my parents said i cant go cell grp from now on (till an indefinite time)
nothing i say or do will work anymore

3)got a pool table at home
my uncle gave it to us cause he dun wan it anymore
living room now so weird with the pool table in place

4)then my mum's bro moved in with us
got chase out by his wife's family

5)found out his wife pregnant
their family a lot of agrument
his wife's family really crazy abt having no money
yet none of the parents work
even have to let their daughter work and pay for the whole family

6)i ask vincent to give me bible study
whole bunch of things happen
catherine worried
ming jing(our zone supervisor) offered to personally give me OMG
stressed.....

All these times the fear, anxiety, sadness, stress really surpass a lot of things
i had to endure through all these during the Mid-Semester Test(MST) week
so i'm actually quite fearful of my results

but through all these life experiences i really learnt a lot
things that cannot be found in books or learnt by studying

Pastor Kong said it is easy to praise God when ur going through gd times
but it is when u go through bad times
then are ur praises precious to HIM

must press on....

Tired....Plain tired

2007-09-15T23:24:00.000+08:00

nowadays seems to be very busy
however on 2nd thoughts i'm doing quite a lot of things that
no need to use brain
cause i think all my brain cells died on thinking of bookbuzz
as well as church stuffs
a bit waste time to play all those games
but oh well need to relax my brain.....

actually got a lot of things to blog like
1) Birthday celebration with Priscilla, Jia Yee and Rain
2)Bookbuzz things
3)New timetable stuffs
4)Church stuffs

but just plain tired.....
so not going to do any of it i guess
saw a personality quiz at Wei Ying's blog
very true u all should go and try....

You Are An ISFJ

The Nurturer
You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal.A good listener, you excel at helping others in practical ways.In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music.You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for.
In love, you express your emotions through actions.Taking care of someone is how you love them. And you do it well!
At work, you do well in a structured environment. You complete tasks well and on time.You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist.
How you see yourself: Competent, dependable, and detail oriented
When other people don't get you, they see you as: Boring, dominant, and stuck in a rut

What's" Your Personality Type?

and another one true to a certain extent except for the Loyalty part i dun think i'm like that

Your Values Profile

Loyalty:
You value loyalty a fair amount.You're loyal to your friends... to a point.But if they cross you, you will reconsider your loyalties.Staying true to others is important to you, but you also stay true to yourself.
Honesty:
You don't really value honesty.You do value getting your way, no matter what.And if a little lying is required to do that, no problem.A few white lies never hurt anyone (at least, that's what you tell yourself!)
Generosity:
You value generosity a fair amount.You are all about giving, as long as there's some give and take.Supportive and kind, you don't mind helping out a friend in need.But you know when you've given too much. You have no problem saying "no"!
Humility:
You value humility highly.You have the self-confidence to be happy with who you are.And you don't need to seek praise to make yourself feel better.You're very modest, and you're keep the drama factor low.
Tolerance:
You value tolerance highly.Not only do you enjoy the company of those very different from you...You do all that you can to seek it out interesting and unique friends.You think there are many truths in life, and you're open to many of them.

The Five Factor Values Test

oh but one thing i must remember that is very impt today in CHC
i went up to the altar call with Catherine
to be prayed for by Pastor Derek
very nervous and scared
palms was sweating like hell
then received the praying by Pastor
and must fall back and lie on the floor
someone will be behind to catch me
1st time this happens
but i do believe i have received the faith
will not give up....

nxt wk got a lot of things to do
but i think i most looking forward to NUS that talk with 77 Street boss
she is like a legendary in our church
wan to see for myself wat kind of person she is
who knows can invite her to SP for 55@SP talk also lol
hey we are all same church and both christians lol
so she is considered sister haha
but oh well who am i deceiving
but cant hurt to try right :)

Another day....

2007-09-07T00:22:00.000+08:00

I wan to shine!!!!!
Dun wan to be in a corner anymore.
Thinking back why i'm so lazy in the past
becaz of FEAR

FEAR OF CRITICISM

Do nothing will ensure that u do nothing wrong.
But that is not going to work.
If no one is criticising u, maybe cause there is nothing to criticise abt.
You are not doing anything GREAT!!!
Nothing to challenge ppl's comfort zone.
Criticise occurs only when talents are shown forth
Glory is SHINING FORTH!!!!!!

I wan to take a step towards my goal.

Ppl will criticise watever things u do
Strip away all fears
We only have one life
we should do wat we wanna do for a good cause
walk in the path of righteousness

I just wan to do things that will please HIM
Glorify HIM
Let my abilities SHINE

Catherine said
How much you grow is determined by how hard you press on.

I WILL SUCCEED IN LIFE AND SHINE FOR HIM!!!!!!

BookBuzz.....

2007-09-04T22:26:00.000+08:00

Monday 3 Sep 2007
haiz....see this date a bit sad cause should be still working at Singapore Pools de lor
but nvm today is a very busy day for me also
3pm have the China ITP interview with Winnie Quah
Eileen actually recommendated Kelly Services to us
then today is the credit card American Express briefing ALSO AT 3PM
and they only called me at like 10.30am i think
i said i was interested and wanted to go
so i resort to rushing to LAVENDER from DOVER when both events occuring at 3pm

My Interview
Eileen was before me at 2.45pm
but when i reached there at 2.50pm
the interviewer Winnie still had like Han Ming and Eileen whom she had not done
and Han Ming took an awfully long time inside sia
when he finished it was already like 3.45pm i think
Eileen finished at 4pm lor and my turn finished at like 4.15pm
but they say she so long cause she keep pausing then go out and answer calls
my turn also have....long distance call she said China ITP related stuffs =p
somemore all of us said that her chinese is worst than all of us lor
cause she keep turning to english for quite a few times

well overall she said
Winnie: Your Spoken Chinese is very good ( in chinese)
(I think she ticked the Excellent box for my spoken chinese, the rest all is near the end of Good)

Winnie: If i ask u to write daily articles and journals would u mind? (mixture of eng and chi)
Me: i just say yeah sure or something along that line in chinese forgotten =x
(Crossing my fingers in my mind saying "NO NO, Dun torture me like that DAILY")

Winnie: U prefer Shanghai or SuZhou
Me: i prefered Shanghai but i dun mind SuZhou
(NOOOO....DUN WAN SUZHOU)

Winnie: If i put u alone in a company would u mind?
Me: Preferably not but oh well i can accept
Then she scribled on her notes (Can work alone & Independent)
(Wah.......please dun do that to me......)

i was like having internal battles within me lol haha
the whole time i was like making sure i speak totally in chinese lol in case she penalized me on that
but seeing that she goes back into english so often i doubt so
and i think i made her uneasy when i speak in so "chim" chinese to her lol
couple of times she asked me wat is the meaning of the chinese words -_-
but i think overall was quite ok la
i think i should stand high chances ba though duno la maybe other candidates behind me will do better
*cough* Chee Leng, Joy *cough*
then i will be separated from them ='(

*Pray HARD will be together with all my friends*

ok after that when i finished i ran all the way to Dover MRT and take to Lavender
almost 4.50pm when i arrived at Lavender
however when i reached the bus stop Yee Ling and Jia Yee who went for the credit card briefing
for 3pm-6pm
asked me dun go cause they leaving
say i go will regret de lol
then they say very boring and they left at toilet break haha
to think i rushed all the way there -__-
so i accompany them take red line from Lavender to Sembawang and Woodlands
and i have to meet DARREN AT BUKIT BATOK FOR BOOKBUZZ MEETING AT 7PM
i was like so much time to spare so bo liao of me
really tour around whole singapore on monday liao
from Woodlands to Dover
Dover to Lavender
Lavender to Bukit Batok
Bukit Batok to Woodlands AGAIN!!!!!
i totally used up my 4 rides of MRT concession that day lol
first time in history sia.....

then 7pm at West Mall Burger King meeting with NP BookBuzz
now hearing the word BookBuzz a bit going to faint liao
sigh....imagine going to be part of them in less than 1 month....
the meeting only consists of Darren, Jessica and me
Rachel cannot make it and
our dear Chee Leng is somewhere in Rendang
doing watsoever things that a leadership training camp is supposed to do
i miss her already sia..... ='(
meeting with Darren and Jessica without her just doesnt seems to be complete
back to the meeting
that NP CEO 耍大牌
say 7pm then 7.30pm then come with his gf
and a ***** face
his attitude dun even need to say ask Jessica u all will know
then all the time 踩 our proposal till very jia lat
then that Darren still give him a one month old proposal
which Jessica and I had no idea and no chance to read through *faint for nth times*

so after a quite throughly *washing* by him
all 3 of us were quite hot-headed
determined to prove him wrong
and there goes my tue.....

Tue 4 Sep 2007
8.30am wake up liao cant slp back
9.30am video conference with Darren all the way till 2pm+
3pm both him and Jessica came my hse
with Rachel on her pc at home doing adobe photoshop
she showed us something quite cool called YugmaSkype
then once i installed the plugins all those
i can actually see wat she is doing on her destop lol
so we like using our mouths then tell her words bigger or wat pics not nice
haha actually mostly is Jessica la
Darren and I were busy doing the admin thingy for the proposal
headache like hell
but got pretty much everything covered by 7pm
and my mum actually ordered pizza and treat all of us lol
then rachael was like writing on her destop
"I WANT PIZZA" in caps and red lol
quite scary cause no one touching my laptop then got words moving lol
haha but yeah got A LOT of things done

wat's left is to phrase them properly and in PROPER FORMAT
to make that IAN POH of NP SPEECHLESS!!!!!

Determined I am lol.....

God please guide us through this business venture
Thank U Lord.

I GOT SACKED!!!!!!!!

2007-08-31T22:48:00.000+08:00

i still cant believe it!!!!
all 6 of us (Wei Ying,Wei Ling,Eileen,Jessica,Yee Ling and me)
all of us got sacked from that Singapore Pools job recommendated by Resource Vantage
the job is just sorting out whether the Sweepstakes have email or not
yet still can get fired
think we make history liao
前无古人，后无来者。
18 yrs old only le got my 1st experience of being sacked liao....
haiz.....know cant exactly blame others
but still mixed feelings sia
a bit happy cause no need see that supervisor again
but sad actually quite larger cause it is the 1st time of being tio pok (phrased by eileen)
pathetic arent we huh???

imagine nxt time i apply for jobs filling the form that time
will have a qn asking Reason for leaving Last Job
then my answer would be SACKED!!!!!!!!
STUPID SIA

all 6 of us were so shocked and stunned
our supervisor just say give me ur passes(needed to go to places in the building)
and sign our timesheets as usual
then she say u all no need to come back on Monday
then we like blur blur walk out
not even ONE of us asked why did she sacked us
then we so angry la like wan to confront her
keep calling Patricia(Resource Vantage's agent) to ask for an explanation
then she explained to us say she received a mail from Singapore Pools
saying the reason for terminating our contract is cause
we disobey orders and rebutted her
wth la
she said wat we did wat lor
rebutting part also not really true sia
ARGH......WE ARE SABOTAGED AND INNOCENT (to a certain extent)
AIYA JUST A LOT OF MISUNDERSTANDINGS FROM DAY 2!!!!!

on a lighter thought Eileen immediately called Kelly Services who just called her today
asking whether she wanna work for credit card so we may be going for training on Monday
so actually not bad la
last than half an hr we lost our jobs we got another job prospect
haiz......still hope that at least that supervisor can hear our side of the story

God is this yr will???

A New Job....

2007-08-28T19:46:00.000+08:00

Whew.....finished 2nd day of work...
Singapore Pools
high security???
one word is MA FAN
go everywhere must tap card
luckily dun need to anywhere go if not trigger the alarm sure very ma lu lol
but anyway it's an easy job just have to sort out whether the Sweepstakes tickets have email or not
have email put aside
no email throw into box
that's all.
Pay quite gd 6.50 per hr highest paying job i worked
but got CPF sia so in the end will like get 300+ only
for 8 days not including wkend

today so funny really glad i asked Eileen to work along with me
whole day we are entertained by her lol
cause the person in charge of us say we must complete 3 boxes of Sweepstake tickets by whole day
however we only like managed 2 and 3/4 boxes
but actually if we didnt hlp another grp we could have finished lor
sigh.....work so hard today
ytd very relaxed still can complete quota
that means is actually the other 2 new gals that are very slow not us lor
sigh......
all of us so tired sia like only 8pm like that already very sleepy
then neck and back pain......
feel like sleeping liao.....
8am-5pm really
No Life!!!!!!!!
*********************************************************************************
fri got cell grp outing at West Coast
chee leng not able to go cause got COMEX 2007 =(
sad
outing starting at 4.30pm i end work at 5pm
sad sad
outing at Clementi my workplace is at Dobhy Ghaut
sad sad sad!!!!
by the time i reach there should be like almost 5.50pm le ba
*sniff sniff*
will rush there!!!!!

but they say fri got fire drill hopefully is like at the end of the day
so can slack and go out earlier haha......
hopefully =p

EXAMS OVER!!!!!!!!!

2007-08-22T20:17:00.000+08:00

and that means IT'S HOLIDAY!!!!!!!!!
and that means
EAT SLEEP PLAY
ok but need to get a job for a short period
and then EAT SLEEP PLAY again haha.....
today everybody jumping with happiness and excitement when paper is over lol
met Hilmi and Pam then Hilmi asked me how is BFI
and i replied BFI IS OVER HAHA.....
annoy him for a while lol and Pam said GD ANSWER!!!
haha cause i think that is the only thing i can think off at that time lol
*******************************************************************************
Restraining to blog all these times when i'm beside my laptop lol
finally can now but like forgotten a lot on wat to blog already....

ok some main random pts

Cell grp is going to spilt into 2 soon
and i'm gonna be separated from twins and yilin
feeling sad abt it
but Cat said it is going to happen either around end Aug or end Sep
i will miss them a lot
they are like one of the fews whom i can really talk in cg

Cat asked me whether i thought of becoming a Cell grp Leader
a bit surprised when she asked me this
but i said i nv thought before
somemore i'm still a very young christian
dun think i'm capable enough
but she said if i want to definitely can do it
Cell grp Leader
1st thought that comes to my mind is STRESSED
a lot of responsibility
as i think carefully abt the positives
Cell grp Leader IMPACTS ppl life
just like how my life is changed with Catherine and cell grp
duno la but definitely dun need to worry abt this now

GATHERING!!!!
going to meet up with lots and lots of friends this holiday
enjoy the holiday with them
cause the nxt long holiday period will be during Feb
then got ITP
only depend where it is either Singapore or China
oh well God will make a way

my family's new car coming very soon either this wkend or nxt wk
hee.... we refer it to our family's baby
~our dream car~

nxt thing to look forward to is my driving license basic theory test ba
but that is in Oct 4 still like very long
somemore sch will have started sianz......

oh and remembered something abt Joyce Meyer's svc on sunday
Dispose of the "Wat abt me?" qn that is always in ur heart and mind
do something to encourage ppl every single say
I'm not where I WANNA be, but not where i USED to be

golden words of advice that i will remember for life.

Great Weekend

2007-08-13T01:03:00.000+08:00

Sat 11 Aug 2007
Hectic day....slp at 3am previous night but woken up by my mum at 8.30am.....
and wat she asked me to do.....
print 2 photos using the Epson printer
...........8.30am in the morning
i was so tired that i didnt really have the strength to make any comments
the even worst part is my dad had not even wake up
and i had to like wait a whole 1hr before we go out to the bank and malaysia
cause dad going on business trip to Jakata on Sun morning bringing mum along
everything is paid by company
so mum just have to pay for the air ticket hahaha.....
benefits of a public listed company=everything claim from company LOL!!!
<~~~Fast Forward~~~>
Went a hell lot of places and struggling to keep my eyelids open
final destination went to Sim Lim Square
spent a couple of hrs there cause dad deciding wat gifts to buy for his clients in Jakata
and...................
wat do u know
he bought another Nintendo DS Lite for my sister ($360)
intending to *cough*claim*cough*
haha my sister was very happy lol (well actually who wouldnt)
i had to pay half for my own DS yet she got it without paying a single cent lol
my mum secretly asked me saying "I pay u back for the money u paid ok?"
and my answer was
"It's ok. Nevermind"
haha laugh all u want but really some ppl might think i'm stupid
but i really dun see the purpose of calculating.....it is.....tiring.
her DS was a limited edition Metallic Rose colour very nice le

(much nicer than mine)

in the past i would normally be feeling a bit *ok i admit more than a bit* sour in my heart haha

whenever she gets a brand new item better than mine
one of the frequent items is handphones (higher turnover lol)
but i must say THIS TIME
i feel different
i'm sincerely happy for her
no more jealously or sour feeling
so happy when i realised this
this mean that there is MORE of Christ in Me and Lesser of Me
this is a small accomplishment but it is a start!!!!
*pats myself on the shoulder*
hee........
********************************************************************************
Sun 12 Aug 2007
it is actually officially Mon 13 Aug 2007 as it is 1:24am now
listening to Don Moen's songs
with my half studied FA lecture notes aside my laptop
(believe it or not i havent even finished reading through it once)
decide to come and blog haha........

Sun Svc-A.R. Bernard
He is really a great speaker
heard his name a lot of times
finally had the chance to see and hear him for myself today
Today's message tells me some very meaningful things
How to engage the world and putting a limit on the World's values
U can live in a totally different culture and absorb everything BUT
U will NOT FEED on the values and philosophy of that culture
because u will lose ur Christ like character that is in everybody since we are born
we are shaped by our enviornment, culture, family upbringing
so we must know where to draw the line on the World's Values
World's Values:

Selfish Ambition
Pride
Fear
Ego
Envy
Lust
Greed
Jealously

Why do ppl fail in life? Because of 1 word
Discontentment
when your heart is not happy with all the things u have
End Results:
Sacrifice wat u have for wat u dont have
Losing ALL that u HAD

Therefore having a Thankful Heart is very impt....

Officially sent my parents to airport and off they go to a company paid "holiday" lol
whereas my sis and I are stuck with stupid exams
first time left only 2 of us at home
feeling weird and insecure
and they will only be back on Wed night
but of course with technology nowadays
Video Conference is just a click away LOL!!!!

My mum said she married my dad for 20yrs and today they had spent the most amt of $
haha i was laughing all the way
she say she buy things dun even need to look at the price
haha and she bought a lot of things
SK2 facial masks, Eternity perfumes, Guess hangbag
all the branded stuffs lol
glad that she is happy
the last time she sat on a plane was many yrs ago
both my sis and I had went on a business trip with my dad
finally her turn this time lol
staying in a 5 star hotel somemore hahaha......

Thank U Lord for all the blessings
Those that i received and even those that i cannot see!!!

Now have to concentrate on my exams
strangely i dun really seems to be very worried
when i should cause others had already like studied countless times
yet i'm still halfway through my 1st time
but i know God is with me through everything!!!!

FESTIVAL OF PRAISE 2007

2007-08-04T21:26:00.000+08:00

i'm soooooo blessed!!!!!!!!!
i declare DON MOEN IS MY FAV SINGER FROM NOW ON!!!!!!
i'm sooooooooooooo touched by his songs!!!!
*****************************************************************************
Friday 3 Aug 2007
my 1st blog for the month of Aug
still feeling a bit sick compared to thu which was much worst
then today still had bookbuzz meeting with darren chee leng and jessica
it was like 11am around that time
when i decide to ask my mum once again whether can i go for the festival of praise
it was at singapore indoor stadium
but is like 7.30pm then start
ending around 10.30pm
quite late for me already
somemore so far at kallang
when i mentioned that topic on the phone
she asked me called my father and asked in a quite angry voice
then she hanged up on me
so with an aprehensive heart i called my dad
and HE SAID OK
he even said so late ah
ok i come fetch u after that!!!!!!
then he said he busy and hanged up
i was like stunned for a while
then happiness dawned on me!!!

i called back my mum and told her he said ok
and she nv say anything lol
hahaha.......

then finally arrived at FOP at 6.30pm ba
so big lol couldnt find cat they all
finally when i found them
i realised we got the BEST SEATS
right in front of the main screen
a bit of distance so that our necks will not strained
BEST OF THE BEST SEATS!!!!!!

FOP started
had Delirious starting the opening praises songs
quite a few also
the songs were quite ok
but erm....not really wat i like
cause it is those loud and a bit wild praise songs

then followed on by Don Moen
heard from cat that he is chee leng's fav
so was quite looking forward to his appearance
and when he started singing on the keyboard
OMG.....when i hear his voice and songs
i immediately fell in love with them
and i had thought Hillsong United and CHC songs are excellent
but his is nothing like wat i have heard
it is HEAVENLY!!!!
his songs portray God in such
a gentle way
a heart touching way
a really close father who really is closer than my breathe

his songs that i fell in love with are like
1)He Never Sleeps
2)Still/Be Still and Know
3)Thank You Lord

1)He Never Sleeps
The lyrics are brilliant...tears were almost flowing out of my eyes
"He never slp
He never slumber
he never tires of hearing our prayers
when we are weak he becomes stronger
so rest in his love and cast all ur cares
on him"
Our Almighty Lord is always working for us
he will nv ever get tired of our prayers despite the repetition
when i'm weak it only shows that he is indeed truely stronger
i just wan to embrace him and cast all worries on him
cause he will definitely make it better

2)Still/Be Still and Know
"When the oceans rise and thunders roar
i will soar with u above the storm
Father u are king over the floods
i will be still
and know u are GOD"
Heavenly Father i am going through this period of rising oceans and roaring thunders
but i WILL SOAR WITH U ABOVE THE STORM
letting me hear this song made me feel that
God knows wat i'm going through
he is telling me through the lyrics
he is with me
waiting for a day where i can soar with him and GLORIFY HIM!!!

3)Thank You Lord
This song is like pulling at my heart
it gives me a deep and sincere feeling of thanking Lord
and the lyrics are so simple
"For all you've done in my life
You took my darkness and gave me your light
Thank you lord Thank you lord
You took my sin and my shame
You took my sickness and healed all my pain
Thank you lord Thank you lord"
yet so true
i had a very deep feeling of thanks in my heart at that moment...
a feeling that i had nv felt before
the deep feeling of thanks surprises even myself...

Don Moen
a heavenly singer of God's gospel
i'm fortunate to come upon his songs
this day i will nv forget
to be honest before coming for the FOP
i was tired in my walk of faith
my passion and my fire for the Lord was not burning as strongly as before
almost till extinguish maybe
becaz of everything that is happening
but he brought back that FIRE IN ME
and not only that he
MAGNIFIED IT 10 TIMES

feel so blessed after it God is Good!!!!!
feel like going for one more but
know it will be quite impossible
but it's ok
i received wat is intended for me to receive already :)
chee leng is going on sun also
must press her for the details hee......
see if she received as great a blessing as me or even GREATER!!!!
********************************************************************************
Sat 4 Aug 2007
today God blessed my family with our dream car
a brand new TOYOTA ESTIMA
paying only $500 deposit
which will be refunded afterwards
which means literally NO money paid
get to drive a brand NEW car

Some features of ESTIMA
8 seater
DVD player with 2 Screens
Auto door (no more hearing my mum say i close the door very roughly haha)
Reverse camera shown on screen (very useful when parking and cannot see)
3 ROWS of AIR-CON (not like Toyota WISH must depend on the front aircon)
Seats can be laid flat like a bed (our Chariot in the past can but WISH cannot so was a bit disappointed)

the the coolest feature of them all i think is
Auto sensor with the car remote
meaning to drive the car u no need the keys
u just need to have the remote inside ur car
then u step on the brake and press the Engine Start button
and TA DA ur engine is start
no more inserting of keys lol
and the best part is
if ur remote is like not in ur pocket or something
(even just on top of ur car)
the car will not start lol

AND AND AND
u dun even need to take out ur remote if ur returning from shopping
u just walk near ur car (with ur remote in ur pocket)
touch the door handle
the door will be UNLOCK!!!!!
COOL.............
haha i will be able to drive it once i get my license
should be nxt yr ba haha
but in the meantime i'll enjoy being a passenger......

haha this is going to be my testimony for cg nxt wk lol
which is friday still have so long to go
must go through wed CRM test 1st
but oh well
GOD is with me!!!!!!!!
as well as all the friends that i loved and cherished so much.
THANK YOU LORD.

Life has to go on....

2007-07-29T22:05:00.000+08:00

Wed 25 July 2007
the bus accident that happened less than 2 wks from the previous car accident
why......
just wat is happening....
everything that is happening seems to be related to her....
*****************************************************************************
Thu 26 July 2007
UCCD presentation finally over.....
wont be going for the lecture and last tut
cause dun like the tcher....
she seems more biased to the guys
and also cause she taught them last yr
so i think the grading might be a bit more biased to the former dbf 22 class.....
*****************************************************************************
Fri 27 July 2007
went back to sch specially for 1 hr MA lecture and hand in MA project
MA really brought out the bad side of everyone
ppl are throwing temper
cursing vulgar words
angry and stressed
crying in desperation
giving up....
i'm lucky not to be that extent but definitely very stressed and frustrated
cause half of the time i'm very blur
very lucky to have cai rong in my grp
although a bit guilty not to have hlp much
made a promise that this will not happen again
no skipping of impt MA practical nxt sem.....

had a very tired and stressed day then finally waited for cg time
went to West Mall at 4pm to have bible study with catherine
after cg is bbq
really enjoyed my time there despite the tiredness
chee leng and i was so tired that we had a "tiny little nap" before the cg lol =p
but i must say going to cg really brightens my day
cause i really feel so loved there
i thank u Lord for each and every unique person in my cg

chee leng told me sometime that she yee jie and clarice had thought of
why is there so many accidents happening in my family
i had thought a little abt it but didnt dare to dwell on it
but after mentioning by chee leng
cant hlp but think.....
is it possible???
wanted to ask catherine on that day
but didnt have the courage to face the ans yet
plus it was late had to leave already

then reached home had phone conference abt bookbuzz
had wondered whether should i really take up so many things in my life now
but i think it should be ok cause nxt sem wont be as packed ba
hopefully.....
*****************************************************************************
Sat 28 July 2007
went to malaysia as usual in the morning
after we came back my mum and I went to register for driving basic theory test
test date is on 4th Oct
thought it was Sep but oh well longer time to study
didnt went church......
*****************************************************************************
Sun 29 July 2007
woke up early at 6.45am to prepare to go for church
had slp at almost 2am ytd
reading harry potter bk 7
whole family hadnt slp cause they had afternoon nap but i was doing FA tut
then my mum asked me in a stern voice
"Are u sure u going church tmr? It is already almost 2am. How many hrs do u have to slp?"
i just sighed silently and said yes i'm still going...
then went to bed.

very sad cause today had a special ministry svc where the pastor Mike Connell
will cast out devil during a special 1 hr period for everyone after the normal svc
the normal svc ended at 12pm used to be normally 12.30-1pm then end
thought i could stay for a while to see the deliverance
but.....
as usual i just left the church with tears and relectant feelings
and went to tampines mall to wait for my parents and sis
cause my dad had to meet a client there at 3pm
in the end i waited 1 AND A HALF HOUR FOR THEM!!!!!
it was 2.10pm then they arrived
if i had went for the special ministry which will end at 1.30
I WOULD STILL BE EARLIER THAN THEM!!!!
i was so frustrated......
why......
before i left expo my dad had actually said i can stay at expo till they come and fetch me
but my mum asked my sis to sms me
"Mum say from now onwards dun call her hp anymore or sms.
she is boiling up already and dun ever talk to her anymore
Mum says u r a liar."
wat can i say after seeing this sms
so i left expo immediately
i realise i really dun understand her anymore
who is the one changing here
i really duno anymore....

i was in tears when i hugged my cg mates gdbye
i'm struggling to go for cg and svc each wk
facing both the distance
time taken
arguments that occurred
stress to handle
but dun understand how come some ppl can treat it so....
casually not appreciating wat ease they had in coming.
going to church and svc is very
precious to me.....

i had wanted to ask catherine abt the qn that i thought of since fri
but didnt have the chance
or was it courage
i really duno wat i myself want sometimes
indecisive tiffany
make up ur mind!!!!!!

if wat chee leng they all thought is true
then i really will be hesistant for the nxt course of action
but i know deep in my mind
this possibility is quite high
if i asked the qn
i might not be able to take that ans....
or the regret that i will feel if i asked
should I or should I not???
*****************************************************************************
omg....i think i getting a flu
kept sneezing today with a blocked running nose
tmr still got CRM presentation
formal somemore
sigh......
after this presentation still got a MA test on wed
OMG i just remembered still got that Khong Guan business trip
so that means.....
duno prayer grp can make it or not
sigh.....Satan's really strong on our prayer grp so many consecutive things happening on wed
BREAKTHROUGH!!!!!
the name of my blog
the url of my blog
the dream in my mind
the faith in my heart.

Transformed by Troubles

2007-07-23T00:25:00.000+08:00

projects!!!!!
actually i'm actually pretty much done with my projects except ma1
just worried abt the various presentations....
formal again......
********************************************************************************
bought the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
read the 1st few pages then i stopped
but i DID turn to the last page of the bk
and GLANCED at the last few sentences to see if Harry Potter had died lol
was satisfied with the results
HE DIDNT DIE!!!!!
hahaha.....
not really in the mood to read yet
choose to read my bible and Purpose Driven bk instead
proud of myself for this :)
cause i'm placing God FIRST!!!!!
********************************************************************************
just wan to put down some meaningful things from my reading
Day 25-Transformed by Trouble

It is the fire of suffering that brings forth the gold of goldliness.

God has a purpose behind every problem.

God uses problems to draw me closer to him.

Your circumstances are temporary, but your character will last forever.

If you look at the world, you'll be distressed.
If you look within, you'll be depressed.
But if you look at Christ, you'll be at rest!

The secret of endurance is to remember that your pain is temporary but your reward will be eternal.

You'll never know that God is all you need until God is all you've got.

God help me.....

2007-07-17T01:14:00.000+08:00

it had been a long time since i updated
busy with FA test and projects
didnt feel like updating but very heartbroken abt something
need to let it go
********************************************************************************
it happened on 14/07/07
the day i went for sat svc
i had bear a terrible consequences for it
i feel that i'm a selfish inconsiderate stupid idiot worthless prat!!!!!
i'm very tired and sick
physically and mentally

my parents and sister had a car accident when i was at church around 6pm plus
a lorry banged into them at the back
the car was a little dented towards inside
but they are not hurt
my mum said if i had been with them and not insisting on going church
they would not meet with the accident
they would not have went that path
it is God's will she said....

when i came back from church
she scolded me for 3 hours all the way till almost 2am
she say who will spend 6hrs in church
every wk i go church we will quarrel
she is sick and tired of me
dun wanna talk to me
dun wanna bother me anymore
said between her and my church friends
i gave her up
when i left the car and go church she said her heart broke
and tears had fell
she said the whole family without me like wandering aimlessly in shopping malls
even my father told her
saying i grown up no need them anymore
she said she nv used to dislike my friends in the past
but now she really hate CHC and all my church friends
biggest mistake in her life is letting me go CHC
she said i betrayed her
she lost the 18yrs daughter
said i was very cruel to her

and i really cannot stand it when she...
when she....
she thank me for making her wake up
letting her know that she wasted all her time and effort the past 18yrs
she said everything in a broken and crying voice
she said i'm brainwashed
she said i wil nv be able to change her and my dad...EVER!!!!

my heart is bleeding present tense still bleeding since sat
how do i study with all these thoughts in my mind
i screwed up my FA also i guess
everytime when i stared at the notes
my mind will be filled with her words
and tears will start to blur my vision

Lord i'm in pain and suffering
can u deliver me from all these
when will it stops
i dun wanna give up
i dun wanna let go
but i might not be able to hold on for long
********************************************************************************
so friends i just wanna say
appreciate the freedom and trust ur parents placed in u
not everyone has it
not everyone will have it
dun wait till a pt where it is like my circumstances
then u regret
it might be too late for repairs
cause the damage is done
the hurt is forever encraved inside ur heart
nothing will be able to undo it
cause we cant turn time back

New blog skin

2007-07-09T22:24:00.000+08:00

well just changed my new blog skin today
cause i'm a bit tired of the old one
but also becaz i saw this skin
it has the word "LOST" on the sand
and the word "FATE" on the guy's finger
had a feeling i just HAD to choose this =p
*********************************************************************
LOST is my
past
current situation
and my goal.

the past when i'm lost without purpose in life
current situation cause i'm lost in the realm of HIM
my goal cause i wan to reach out to the lost
bring them to Jesus
spread the good news of his gospel

thus how could i not choose this =)
*********************************************************************
sigh....didnt go sch today cause sick
sick for quite a while liao but still havent recover
thought of resting today
but still ended up doing projects
after the inital distraction of changing my blog skin haha....
then did my CRM and UCCD projects.....
sigh.....but had headache all day
ended up with like little work done
and the work seems to be quite without flow.....
*********************************************************************
anyway i got my fav song on IMEEM
and placed it here
One Life One Love
the song title actually is very meaningful

u only have one life
wat do u wanna do with it?
if u only can have one love
who will u place it with?

or actually the title dont mean a lot to others
or actually is it becaz i'm a literature student
thus i read too deeply in things lol =p
but is it gd or bad???
*********************************************************************
prayer grp argh......
now i understand wat vincent say
when u wanna start something
a lot of things can come up

1st wk wed is he sick nv come sch
2nd wk wed is chee leng got something on
3rd wk wed is i have the talk with MOE

strange huh how all this coincidences happen
ALL ON WED!!!!!
*********************************************************************
today ridwan(spgg pool team vice-cap) he sms me and a few others
asking us whether we still interested in the pool team
if not he will strike our names of the list
so we need not pay the monthly $5 extra fees (used to be $10)
i'm actually still interested
just a lot of things happened
and became very busy
so i think nxt wk onwards
i will at least try to make time and go after sch

07/07/07

2007-07-08T00:57:00.000+08:00

once in a 1000 year
07/07/07
a day where a lot of ppl getting married at the ROM
and......
one of them is my uncle (mum's brother)
their appointment time is 1.30pm
spent like 5mins inside
$500 lol

one thing i felt very uncomfortable with is the way the read their vows
i know it is not my position to commend
but the way the both of them read it
is like so childish and not serious
like primary sch kids reciting
once back in the car with my dad and sis
i told my dad and sis
if my future husband said in that way
i would say
"Let's forget it...I'm not going to marry u"
LOL
but really le if my future husband so unconcerned
then i believe i can find a better guy =p
*********************************************************************************
sigh......i'm feeling very sad the whole day actually
cause my heart is on church in expo
but cant make it by 5pm
after that going to sim lim
yet my parents dun let me go tmr
cause we going malaysia early in the morning
i asked them a lot of times
but........
i'm like looking forward to go church for the whole week
yet........
i'm even denied the right to go for a while
felt like crying
but i promised someone i will be happy for GOD's sake
i will try.....
*********************************************************************************
i bought a Nintendo DS lite at Sim Lim Square just now
didnt seem to have the effect of making me happier
downloaded a whole lot of games that seems to be quite fun
but really i think
deep inside my heart
it is not wat i really really want and need
it is a luxury item
that will just temp forget abt the unhappiness
*********************************************************************************
Lord
have a feeling i'm not doing something right
but cant put my finger on the problem
or maybe
i know the problem
but i dun wanna admit it????

I'm lost myself then how do i lead the lost to u????

FRIDAY!!!!!

2007-07-06T23:07:00.000+08:00

sigh....realise that i sooooo look forward to friday cg
after a long week finally it is friday
but time passes so fast when it is friday!!!
WHY!!!!!
i dun have enough of cg and all my friends there :'(
*********************************************************************************
quite moody whole week sia
realise a lot of ppl also like that
maybe cause of weather lol
haha or maybe some star or planet not in the right position lol =p

but finally something happy today cause
DELCONI WENT TO CG WITH ME!!!!!
and the best thing is that
HE PROMISED TO COME NXT WK ALSO!!!!!
hahaha......but yeah lor i'm very happy for him
cause i think he really need Jesus to hlp him
he still could not let down something that happened 4 yrs ago....

plus i think this would be gd for him
cause he dun have a lot of friends
cg is the place where he will be surrounded by a lot of friends
sincere and genuine friends!!!!!
i feel that a lot of his friends in the past
is just like taking advantage of him only
i was a bit angry at them
but i feel guilty cause i didnt do anything to hlp him......

Now that i think back
Delconi is one of the few closest guy friend in my life
i have a lot of gd close girl friends
but few close guy one
he is like among those who are closest to me
so i really want him gd =D
Del i'll pray for u!!!!
For ur studies and
For u to know GOD the ALMIGHTY!!!!
*********************************************************************************
stressed by projects!!!!
stressed by my grp project mates!!!!
STRESSED!!!
STRESSED!!!
STRESSED!!!

Lord give me the strength to endure through all these areas of my life
Projects
Grp mates
Studies
Family

i know everyone around me especially those in same course is feeling the same
so Lord

please relieve us of our stressfulness and prosper in our studies
so that we christians can make an impact in the world
be ur witness
and glorify u!!!!

Love is wat life is all abt.

2007-07-04T21:48:00.000+08:00

sigh....today should have prayer grp but vincent last min say he sick
so cancelled =(
so disappointed.......
***************************************************************************
today chee leng had PT and she was very afraid
of seeing her ex-bf ba
my lesson ended at 3pm and i accompany her till 4pm
actually this action quite unlike me lol
if it had been the past me
i guess i would just go home and rest or do the mountain pile of projects
cause i was sick(cough and sore throat)
but i actually stay.....
cause i understand that
LOVE is wat life is all abt
as usual derived from my Purpose Driven book =p
(i really LOVED the book)

Jesus is all abt LOVE
Lord wants us to love each and other
especially those in the hse of GOD!!!

my heart feel at peace after praying for chee leng
as well as quite a lot of mixed feelings
i duno how to describe but
i feel good =D

"Relationships are what life is all about"
"The greatest gift i can give someone is my time"

"The best use of life is love.
The best expression of love is time.
The best time to love is now."

i made a resolution to spend time with the ppl i love
no matter how busy with projects i am
no matter i cant accomplish wat i intend to do
as long as......

"God, whether i get anything else done today, i want to make sure that i spent time loving u and loving other ppl- becaz that's wat life is all abt. I dont want to waste this day"

AMEN!!!

Prayer Grp...........

2007-07-03T19:40:00.000+08:00

had been busy the past few days finally got a bit of time to blog today =p

time really flies it had been like only a few days since the end of MST
but everything comes pouring down already
that is
PROJECTS!!!!!
********************************************************************************
oh and 1 more thing that i'm excited abt and that is
PRAYER GRP!!!!!!
is going to be tmr

Revival in SP!!!!

Vincent will be leading with chee leng and me.
It will definitely be a enlightening time!!!!
Lord please bless our prayer grp
so that we can be witness to ur GLORY!!!!
********************************************************************************
feeling quite unease since monday
i had a disturbing dream on both sun night and mon night
i dreamt of someone i USED to care a lot abt.....begging
my heart aches when i think of it

i had meeting on mon and as i sat outside clubhse waiting for those who have the keys
i thought abt that dream and i almost cried
i started praying
and God actually seems to reassure me
he sent an angel msg to me
an angel by the name of Yee Jie
she sent me a bible verse
"For when I am weak, then I am strong"
God's power made perfect in our weakness
tears actually filled my eyes.....
she always seems to capture me at times when i'm most in need
and most lonely
and renew my strength with her msg....
thx YJ =D

then ytd night i actually dreamt of a USED to be close friend have a serious illness
i'm scared very scared
dun let both of these dreams come true
please Lord dun let it come true
I beg u......
********************************************************************************
i realise nowadays i'm like always envying others
jealously is it???
but i know i shouldnt
God created each of us individually to be unique and different

i want something
but if i get it
i will lose something that might not be recoverable
maybe this is the reason that's why i still did not have my breakthrough
cause i really duno wat should i do
Lord guide me
I just want to be more like u
guide me
make me the person u wan me to be
I pray in Jesus name
AMEN!!!!

Overview of MST Week

2007-06-28T19:49:00.000+08:00

tmr is the last day of mst.....
finally!!!!
so looking forward to it.
and of course
CELL GRP!!!!

seems like the whole time i'm only looking forward to cg and svc......
i've changed.....
is an understatement lol...
maybe i should say i'm
TRANSFORMED!!!!
************************************************************************************
sigh....duno wat to blog
nothing sad yet
(except the UCCD test sigh.....)
but nothing to happy also.....
(strange getting full marks for my ma1 didnt make me happy)
************************************************************************************
oh i know i write abt the Purpose Driven that i'm reading daily
things that i feel is very meaningful

This is from the Day 10 of the book.
"The Heart of Worship is Surrender.

Surrendering to God is not passive resignation, fatalism, or an excuse for laziness.
It is not accepting status quo. It may mean the exact opposite:
Sacrificing your life or suffering in order to change what needs to be changed.

You know you're surrendered when you dont react to criticism
and rush to defend yourself.

Genuine surrender says, "Father, if this problem, pain, sickness, circumstance is needed to fulfil your purpose and glory in my life or in another's, please don't take it away"
This level of maturity does not come easy. "
************************************************************************************
very true and meaningful right?
i was a bit stunned and dumbfounded.

3 Main signs if u have GENUINELY surrendered.

You will experience PEACE.
You will experience FREEDOM.
You will experience God's power in your LIFE.

i am pass the 1st stage!!!!
i experienced peace at heart now =D

as for the 2nd stage
i'm not sure 50/50???
or is it becaz i'm set free in his kingdom
but not yet in my "earth" ???

it is hard.
BUT i wont give up!!!!
i want to do Jesus your will.
i want to be ur servant.

I want to be ur FRIEND!!!!!
I pray this in Jesus name.
AMEN!!!!

The Long Awaited Friday

2007-06-22T20:02:00.000+08:00

today is the day
Friday
the day whether i'm going to continue going for cg
or stop it temporarily
the end results is
Dad arrived on time today....
this means
i get to continue going for cg
********************************************************************************
but i must say i duno i'm actually happy or sad
happy cause i really want to continue going to cg
sad cause.......
if i continue going for both church svc and cg
will i gain the trust and freedom to stay as long as i want???
i'm lost Jesus
where is ur shepherd for me???
********************************************************************************
today i officially ended my 3 day fast for breakthrough
skipping a meal each day
i feel that fasting is gd
it calms me
praying during fasting really makes me feel not hungry
i should do it more often

they say fast for breakthrough cannot take only 1 day
that's why i decided to fast for 3 days
but my 3 days actually seems to pass very fast
and it is only partial fast
nxt time i should actually fast a whole day without food
and slowly extend it......
********************************************************************************
i memorised something in The Purpose Driven by Rick Warren

"We are products of our past, but not prisoners of it"

i think this sentence can really be use in a lot of situation
i duno abt others but i think it is really applicable in my case
dun feel like explaining here
sigh.....
********************************************************************************
Jesus
wat SHOULD i do next???
wat CAN i do next???

What i can do

2007-06-19T19:41:00.000+08:00

i can only
Pray
Fast
Endure
Perseverance

a lot of friends are praying and even fasting for me thx a lot everyone =)
i'm going to start fasting myself as well tmr.....
for breakthrough!!!!
*****************************************************************************
nxt wk starting got test everyday
have to study hard
just hope that wat i studied stays in my mind

a lot of projects also must work harder
ECM
UCCD
CRM
*****************************************************************************
scared of fri's results.....
wat will be of my destiny and faith with cell grp

My Destiny

2007-06-16T18:19:00.000+08:00

sigh...ytd was friday
cell grp day
which made me scared and nervous for the whole of thu
it was at clarke quay riverwalk
i didnt dare to tell my parents it was there
i just let them think it was the usual place bukit gombak
but i guess it was another big mistake......
************************************************************************************
i avoided telling them
but ytd when cg ended my mum called me
i really couldnt hide anymore so i said i was at clarke quay
then a very cold conversation began
the whole call was abt 20mins
but it felt like the worst conversation i had
actually most of the time my mum was silent
making me kept checking my phone
whether she already hanged up on me
(she did that very often recently)

she was silent a lot of times
but whenever she speaks a sentence
it feels literally like there is a knife cutting my heart
some of the words that really really really hurt
"the biggest mistake of my life is letting u go to City Harvest"
watever she said i did not say anything
but wat my heart was saying
"joining City Harvest is the firmest choice i made in my life"

"u lied to me, ur betraying my trust"
but mum i didnt lie if i wanted to lie i would have told u it is at bukit gombak
i didnt.....
i didnt...........
I DIDNT!!!!
i wan to be a Christian who dun lie
lying is a sin
i really dun wan to sin anymore
thus when u called me i confessed.....
i CONFESSED i was at clarke quay
I ACTUALLY CONFESSED!!!!
becaz i was guilty i guessed

but mum if i really wan to lie to u
i would lie to u till the end
but i didnt.
I didnt.

I said nothing when she said that
just trying very hard to concentrate on not letting tears fall
Chee leng was beside me all the time
i could tell she was very worried for me also
but i really could not form words to talk to her
to assure her i'm fine
becaz i really dun feel fine
fine was the last feeling that i felt at that moment.....
************************************************************************************
dun feel like remembering wat she said anymore
Catherine said before even though the words hurt
do not keep it into my heart
but these words.......
these words.........
i really duno.
Jesus Jesus....
************************************************************************************
during the mrt trip back home from clarke quay
i actually thought of stop going cell grp for a month
to actually give more time to my parents to accept my new lifestyle
but i really dun wish to
my heart actually hurts when i think abt this

then i also thought of stop going church for a while
after lesson 14 of Sermon on the Mount ended
it is currently at lesson 11 today
cause that is the last lesson of the very meaningful msg
my heart ache till i feel like suffocating

but do u know wat
i went to CHC website just now
right on the homepage
"The exciting Sermon On The Mount(SOTM) was originally scheduled to be completed by 14 lessons, but it has been expanded to 22 lessons."
my heart stopped for a split sec and i stared at the announcement for some time

THIS IS WAT I CALLED GOD'S DOING!!!!!!
i immediately stopped the idea of not going to church for one month!!!
i couldnt bear not to also!!!!

however i duno abt the cell grp thingy
should i still continue
or should i really stop temporary

feel like the tighter i'm trying to hold on to God
the lesser i'm getting out of him
and when i opened my hands
i can only see air in it
Jesus is this a test ur giving me???
************************************************************************************
Jesus i let u do ur will
u will decide for me

Dear Heavenly Father
dad is flying to Jakarta on monday
he is coming back on friday late afternoon
if he comes back on friday without delaying
i will continue to go for cell grp without stopping
which is wat i really really hope will happen!!!!

if he delays for a day or more
i will stop going for cell grp after my exams for a month
but plz plz plz dun let this happen

Jesus i commend myself into ur loving hands
in ur precious and almighty name
AMEN

Aftermath of Celebration

2007-06-14T21:44:00.000+08:00

well it's june 14 which means that
june 13 is over
which means that
East Coast Celebration is over =(
really really didnt want the night to end
but i must say it was the best it could have been
with a few exceptions like Chia Yee & Zhi Yin not able to come
but other than that my other worries were all futile
hee......i get to stay till the very last min
becaz mum & dad drove to ECP and drove all my friends home lol
but the car was packed like sardines haha
but hey it was 10 ppl in a 7 seater Toyota Wish lol
not bad already =p
*********************************************************************************
i was quite worried ytd
cause it RAINED!!!!!!
TWICE SOMEMORE!!!!!
WHEN WE WERE STARTING FIRE!!!!!!
i was like
"Oh God Oh Jesus u cant do this to me"
"Please have mercy on me and let me enjoy today"
and.......whatcha know
it stopped raining!!!!
hee......God is a merciful Lord AMEN!!!
*********************************************************************************
thus we were able to continue with the bbq
whew.....
at 1st i was very disappointed cause the twins said they could not come on for my celebration
becaz their grandma dun allow
BUT BUT BUT!!!!
ytd at like 2pm+
Yilin called me and said the TWINS COULD COME!!!!
hahaha she managed to convince them and the twins in turn ask permission from their dad
and Praise the Lord!!!!
the 3 of them came together lol
hee......
although it was a pity catherine could only arrive at 8.15pm like that quite late
if not i actually really wanted her to be at the cake cutting time
but Jen they all have to go cause Ming Hao father was waiting for them.....
*********************************************************************************
then during the time when i can make a wish
i had wanted to make 3 wishes lol
and Jen could read my mind haha
she said "Must make 3 wishes" lol
for those who wanna know here are my 3 wishes
(i didnt say the 1st wish out loud)

1st wish: dad would no longer be against me going for church related activities anymore
2nd wish: I invited everyone to make a wish hee.....
quite weird of me right but actually since the surprise birthday party at cell grp
i had wanted to do something like this
but i guess i forgotten ba
somemore quite a lot of ppl i duno
so a bit embarrassed lol
just wanna get it over and done with =p

but yeah back to the purpose
i wanted to bless them all as well
so that this birthday is not just abt myself
becaz
friends i wanna let all of u know that
without u all
i wouldnt be the Tiffany i am today!!!

3rd wish: i wish that are their wishes come true =)=)=)
*********************************************************************************
ok i know somebody will SURELY ask
why so generous
why dun use all the wishes for urself
but as i read the Purpose Driven each day(gift by CL,YJ,Clarice,Darren)
i started to value other things than the "worldly possessions"
as i began to read a lot of my mindset start to take form
the form of God's way
my wavering mind
starts to finally take shape!!!!
thus i believe blessing others feels much much better than blessing myself
becaz if i bless myself
i can only get temporary satisfisation
but if i bless others
i will feel glad for them
and in return my happiness will definitely be doubled!!!!!!
*********************************************************************************
ok just 1 last thing abt ytd
i want to thank my best friends
Rain & Priscilla
for organising this celebration for me
it was not easy
coordination and cooperations are normally tough matters to handle lol
but everything turned out very well
thanks gals =D=D=D

also must thanks everyone for coming like ling ling she could only come for a few hours
then she had to go home
but i just wanna say thanks a lot for coming
each and everyone of u
even delconi also can come in the end hee.......
*********************************************************************************
ok i'm going to blog a little abt today......
i sms a few friends asking whether they would be interested to go for tmr cg
then 2 of them Delconi and Richard
asked me what is a cell grp
i sms back saying
"grp of christians coming together and pray then we sit around and talk and have fun after that"

but like a few hrs later i thought back abt the qn
what exactly is the purpose of a cell grp???
just a grp where church friends meet up???
then it dawned on me

quite a while back someone asked me to join a cell grp
that time i first heard of this name from Vincent
but i didnt really know so i ask the person
she said
"in our life, there are times where we need hlp
the hlp can be obtained in cell grp
when we pour out of our troubles
ppl will pray for us
becaz in those times
we NEED ppl to pray for us
only then will those obstacles come to pass soon"
i remembered wat she said.....
she told me this when i started going church 2 months ago
and this person is my aunt jane.

she is a very devoted christian also
but i realise i really know very little abt her
i believe i can learn a lot more from her.

another thing she told me when i started going to church
something that i will nv forget
i had said i would talk my parents into salvation by Jesus Christ also
but she had stopped me saying
"Dont use words to tell them, use ur actions to show them"
"show them u have become a better daughter to them"
and it was from these words that i had vowed to use my actions
to prove it to mum & dad!!!!!

but till this day june 14 from april 6
just how much had i convinced them
or has it already fallen to the scale of negative
where it is unrepairable for life?????

1ST 18TH BIRTHDAY POST!!!!!!!

2007-06-12T21:37:00.000+08:00

hee.....it's official i'm 18 years old now already =)
well i'm going to take abt wat happened at 12am
i had my msn on and my hp switch to silent mode
and when 12am strikes!!!!
I WAS BOMBARDED!!!!!

there was at least 10 ppl at msn wishing me happy birthday
with 10sms coming in
haha it was quite comical
i was quite afraid my laptop will hang lol
all the orange windows catching my attention
i didnt even have time to properly response to all
and my sis was beside me laughing at my comical sight!!!!
but of course she argue that she is the one sitting beside me
and shaking my hand telling me Happy Birthday lol
insisting that she is the most special one hahaha.......
****************************************************************************
all like having a competition to see who sms me 1st hahaha........
then in the morning when i woke up there was like another 7sms lol
nonetheless i'll like to sincerely thank all of u here.....
u all may think ur sms or instant msg wont be too much of a significant out of all
but i assure u
each and everyword of blessing and love will be encraved in my heart =)
****************************************************************************
i'll like to highlight a few ppl

ok one of them is Santoso hee......
he was talking to me on msn since like 11pm while i was counting down
then he said he going to slp cause he slp very little last night
to be honest was a bit disappointed lor cause was like half an hr more
he can wish me an actual birthday liao
BUT
at 12.05am
he sent me a picture msg wishing me HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
was so touched cause he actually stayed up for me =)=)=)
thanks san =D

another person is Chee Leng
she was actually the 1st person to sms me at 12am on the dot
(actually got another friend la but she sms me at 11.55pm lol)
she wish me a happy birthday and said
"Although it's ur birthday but i'm so happy=D"
i was very touched also.....
i duno how to say also but maybe because
she really understands how i feel and how special this birthday is
and she is very happy for me
thanks CL =D

of course there is also my best best friend Rain
(i think if i dun put her name she is going to kill me lol)
she said
"Rmb we r always dere for u :-)"
even though we are not in the same poly and had lesser contact
ur always my best friend!!!!!
friends are especially impt in unhappy times
thanks Rain =D

then there is Yee Jie
i think i loved her msg the BEST!!!
she quoted it from the bible
"Acts 14:22
we must go thru many hardships to enter the kingdom of God
rmb watever ur facing all this is to glorify HIM n be his witness
u'll nv be alone for the footprints left belongs to our LORD who's carrying u
be sure of ur living purpose n wat he has planned for u!
Happy BLESSED bday!!!"
i think this verse really speaks out wat is deep inside my heart
thanks YJ =D

one very funny person i must mention lol
she is.......TAN WEI YING!!!! Ying Jie haha
she said
"Happy 18th birthday tiffany....hope u enjoy today to the fullest.....
Erm....hate to mention, but we'll still have to find a day to meet up for projects...
gee...It will probably be nxt wk! Kk happy birthday"
haha i was like laughing non-stop lol
who will actually mention projects on a birthday wishing to someone lol
imagine seeing these words on a card haha
typical ying jie haha......
thanks for making me laugh lol
thanks Wei Ying =D
****************************************************************************
there is really a lot lol but cant manage to put all here
but these are the most significant 1 i guess......
oh and some others who sms me and made me quite surprised lol
Ivan is one of them lol haha
he said
"Today is ur birthday right? Happy birthday! May all ur wishes come true!"
haha even though it was quite short but still appreciate the well wishings
if u all know him then u would know why i'm so surprised lol!!!!
thanks Ivan =D
****************************************************************************
ok sorry for those who i cannot manage to put but just know that
i love ya all as well ok
dun be jealous ;p

overall it is a really blessed birthday for me along with the fact that
MY FAVOURITE SONG ONE LIFE ONE LOVE IS OUT!!!!!!!
finally waiting for weeks for it lol.....
listening to it the whole time while typing this blog
yet everytime i hear it
it feels like the 1st time i'm hearing it
it still brings forth fresh tears
tears that seal my life with Jesus!!!!
thank u for this blessed 18 birthday!!!!

LAST 17 years old entry

2007-06-11T23:04:00.000+08:00

here i am waiting anxiously for 12am to arrive.....
currently 11.15pm
so i thought why not blog my last entry for age of 17 =p
****************************************************************
hmm......let's see for this year
quite a hard year for me i guess
in sch work
in imakeadeal business
in family
that's why i'm soooo looking forward to a new start
everything FRESH & ANEW!!!!
****************************************************************
but of course i believe that these experiences will only strengthen me
"Maturity is accepting Responsibility"
but havent my past performances shown my maturity?
IT Leader
IT Club President
Class rep
D&D Organsier
Running my own business IMakeADeal
wat is ur opinion of maturity???
Do i really dun deserve that trust and confidence u HAD in me?
where has it went to???
****************************************************************
sigh.....
mum and dad didnt even accompany me to countdown
went to bed at 11pm already......
they normally did it every yr.......
but why did they have to miss this so significant yr to me???
****************************************************************
now is 11.30pm
half an hr more
when 12am strikes
i will do my 1st 18 yr old prayer
for my BREAKTHROUGH!!!!!!!!
****************************************************************
counting down with my friends now!!!!!!!
decide to unblock "someone"
hee.....cause i'm going to be merciful like Jesus =)=)=)
****************************************************************
thinking when my birthday is over
everything is going to settle down once again
then i will revert back to the feelings of .........
but oh well must tell myself cannot think like that
IT WILL BE A BREAKTHROUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!
****************************************************************
11.40pm now
ok going to stop here.....
blog more tmr......

Sunday Svc

2007-06-10T18:36:00.000+08:00

well had went to today svc at CHC....
had to walk all the way to hall 1 lol
cause they switched exhibition hall from hall 8 to hall 1 for a month
becaz of some foreign exhibitions i think.....

today's svc was GREAT!!!!
I am going to be the Salt & the Light of this world!!!!
I'm going to impact the marketplace!!!!

They sang my favourite song again at the end
as usual i cant stop and also dun feel like stopping tears rolling down
i'm not sad but very touched
that song really is like a vow that i will make to Jesus
*********************************************************************
had my 2nd bible study(bs) today
hee....feel so blessed like the 1st time
although a bit guilty also cause cannot let my parents know
i had bs at 9am 1 hr before the svc so i had to wake up earlier also
but only in this way they wont know
cause i go out very early at like 7.15am they havent wake up ma
but if i end later than 1pm then surely they will keep calling me....

although also feel a bit like troubling catherine
cause she have to arrange purposely to give me bs
but i just wanna say i really enjoyed every sec of it =)
*********************************************************************
sigh.....nowadays really dun feel satisfied even with 3hrs of svc
cg also friday only had been there for like 1 and a half hour
but i duno i feel that it is NOT ENOUGH!!!!
then the nxt time will have to wait till friday again sigh.......
my hunger for GOD is really like a bottomless pit now
bs and svc can only satisfied for like half a day
argh.......i want more more more =(=(=(
*********************************************************************
oh i almost forgot wanted to blog something ytd
i "officially" pass joy the clubhouse key back
when 1st received the key
i cherished it a lot
cause it seems to symbolise power in the club =p
but when i pass to her on fri
i actually didnt feel sad or regret at all
so proud of myself
cause i feel that although i have given up the treasurer post in club
i received something greater
i received another key
the key is my heart
and the door is to the
KINGDOM OF GOD =)
*********************************************************************
i look back to all my entries it seems that everything is revolving around Jesus
hee.....my life is really so different now
i cannot even imagine how i had pass my life in the past
Jesus Jesus Jesus
no long "I" in me but "Christ" in me!!!!
*********************************************************************
countdown to my birthday is..........
2 MORE DAYS!!!!!!!!
i wonder how many sms will i get this year lol
i know who are the ones who had forgotten
i know who are the ones who are going to remember
however
i also know that i will LOVE ALL OF THEM
regardless whether they forgot or remembered=)=)=)
*********************************************************************
soooooooooo looking forward to WED!!!!!
EAST COAST BBQ
CELEBRATING MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!
faster come faster come!!!!!!!!

Surprise Birthday Party!!!!!!

2007-06-09T17:20:00.000+08:00

I was very very happy ytd.....like the title said i had a SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY!!!!!

haha i'm still a bit high on happiness when i woke up today hehe.....
ok i'm going to blog abt EVERYTHING ytd so it is going to be VERY LONG here goes.......

actually had quite a tough day ytd and feeling not very well cause rushing projects etc....project due on 12pm but is like our 1st lesson starts on 10am and in that lesson we were like still pasting the photos and brochures of bank....was actually feeling a bit feverish but ignored it.....

then we(my grp members and I) almost had to skip lunch to print out and the report...in summary it was quite hectic.....

then we were late for our rwps class and gosh we forgotten that there was going to be another tcher in the class to assess our rwps tcher and we were LATE!!!

as if things cannot go worse i was called to ans a qn....but my mind was like blank because i was unwell so i had to say "I dont know"..... could see that the tcher was very disappointed cause she have high hopes on me......

Then all the weird things started coming....
1)sms came in with Yilin asking me do i wan to be a business woman in the future and wat is my top 3 fav colour..... i was like "erm....yeah i wanna be in the future but why does it concern my fav colour lol?" cause is like the 2 qns dun suit one another lol so found it quite weird.....

2) chee leng is also very weird lol cause she keep saying that she wan to go buy things after sch then meet me at bukit gombak before going cg together.....ask her buy wat but she dun wanna tell me lol....cause normally she will just say one ma so like a bit out of character..... in the end she said she got break between lessons so she bought liao so i was like "oh ok..."

3) then was doing my accounting and admin stuffs at IMakeADeal.....counting money profit and expenses etc....cause was quite messy so had to do for quite a while and it was actually like 6.15pm ba then esther called me (using catherine's phone) and asked me where am I....then i was like "erm...still in sch still got things to settle" then she said come asap....then less than 1 min Derek sms me....asking me to call him....i called him he said the same things as esther lol....asking me to come asap....i was like in a muddlehead wat's wrong with them all lol :p

4) another weird thing i was like counting money and cash sales but darren keep asking me hey it's time to go for ur cg....i said let me finished doing the stuffs 1st....then he said that "u better go for ur cg" 3 times in 15mins lol....i was thinking in my heart why u like keep chasing me hahaha....

ok guess that are all the weird things that happen before the cg lol....
now going to the cg.....i'm going to blog all my experiences in it......a lot of my prayers were answered.

chee leng, zu yi and i was walking(more like running in a slower pace haha) towards the twins house at the 5th floor...we could hear the voices just outside the place lol.....

1st Prayer Answered:
i was telling chee leng hope they will sing my favourite songs then chee leng say the "One life One love"....it was the song that i had wanted to sing but i told chee leng i dun think will have cause the song like quite new maybe they wont have the song yet.....

but when we went in and they passed us the song sheets i was stunt they had sang 2 praise songs and the nxt worship song is "ONE LIFE ONE LOVE" i almost couldnt believe it....Praise GOD!!!! no wonder catherine ask me go asap lol cause she knows i loved the song =D

then when we were singing my favourite song...catherine went abt praying for everybody.....

she knows a lot abt my family stuffs i think she actually knew the most compared to everyone else.......

she pray for me to have a breakthrough
to cling to GOD in times of trouble
to bring up my troubles to Jesus
place my troubles in Jesus's hands
not to be afraid of the obstacles i faced
to cry out to Jesus
actually she said a lot more but i think these are the most impt that i remembered

i broke down and cry when she said all those......
the words are actually very simple
something that i have been telling myself
something that i have heard a lot of times from others
but i just broke down and tears rolled down my cheeks.....

i can really feel the presence of GOD in that moment........

afterall everything was coming to an end....it was like 8.30pm already....
my curfew was 9pm.....
catherine asked Derek and Yilin to prepare the refreshments
Zu yi asked me there are refreshments one?
i was like i didnt know today have also lol
but i was quite anxious to get going cause i didnt want the situation like last sat to happen again....

i stood up and wanted to go to the kitchen and tell Yilin i was going to go(not go to the toilet lol unlike wat u all thought)
then it was like when i stood up catherine said very loudly
"Tiffany where are u going?"
i was quite shocked for a while cause is like a lot of ppl are there then she said so loud
AND she was at the OPPOSITE OF THE WHOLE ROOM
so it was like the whole room turned to look at me lol hahaha.....
i forgotten wat i said but i just moved backwards to the kitchen (cause i was sitting right at the door of the kitchen)
then Yilin was like pushing me out asking me sit down dun go anywhere......
it made me even more confused along with the fact that my brain is like not working well that day lol.....

i was FORCED to sit down again by Yilin and Chee Leng.....
i sort of guessed there was something i couldnt see at the back hahaha

then the announcement was finished and catherine announced today we are going to celebrate Tiffany's birthday lol!!!!!

the lights was off and i was pulled to the centre of the room by Catherine i think
everything was like in darkness hahaha
then Derek took out a cake with a candle
they sang me a birthday song in a Christian style haha
2nd time seeing that....
may all the blessing be upon u i think and the action of like sprinkling something on me that kind....
i felt so blessed.....

then yeah continuing on the list of my prayers answered

2nd Prayer Answered:
actually the whole day in sch my another friend is having her birthday today on June 9 so they were actually planning a surprise for her.....i was quite jealous actually cause my birthday was like only a few days after hers too but my grp of friends didnt know.....or should i say it slipped their mind i guess....so i was feeling quite miserable when they were planning behind the birthday's gal back.....

i was thinking i didnt have a surprise party before.....because my birthday always falls in the holiday and wont be seeing my friends and even if they celebrate for me i would know abt it cause they do not intend to make it a surprise......

AND MY 2ND PRAYER ANSWERED!!!! I HAVE A SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY that belongs to no one but ME!!!! hee.......

Catherine asked me to say something after they sang the birthday song......
i was like saying this is my 1st Christian birthday with them and i assure that it wont be the last hee..... actually i was thinking of saying a lot more but my mind was blank and i think i was maybe still in a state of shock and surprise lol........

3rd Prayer Answered:
they started giving me all the presents they prepared for me....and Catherine gave me a CHC Cross CD.....it was EXACTLY WAT I HAD WANTED when i was browsing through the Attributes bookstore hahaha.....PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!

4th Prayer Answered:
Just the other day i was thinking of buying a Christian book abt growing my spiritual faith but was not clear of wat to buy......i thought of asking ppl to recommend and.....

TA DA!!!!
Chee Leng, Clarice, Yee Jie and Darren bought me my FIRST EVER CHRISTIAN BOOK. it was called The Purpose Driven. i'm going to read it everyday =)

5th Prayer Answered:
The 4 of them also bought me a cross for me when i actually thought of buying one myself also hahaha.....it is like miracles upon miracles cause it was as if they could READ MY MIND.....i love ya all and really appreciate everything.

some other presents are a ME TO YOU BEAR by Yilin...she squeeze my cheeks and force me to say i like it haha so cute of her but i was like going to tear already so i hug her and said I LOVE IT thank you.

Another one is Zu Yi giving me a pair of slippers......i was really like experiencing surprises after surprises lol he ACTUALLY KNEW MY SHOES SIZE!!!!!!!! then he said it was common sense lol hahaha though he just like give me a shoe box like that without wrapping or something haha then he said it was branded because the box is "DEFINE ITALIAN COLLECTION" and the box had a marker that wrote $49 lol....haha but i think the degree of truth should be quite low cause he kept saying that his money is all in the bank and he dun have atm card haha....
********************************************************************************
it's very long already lol.....4 pages and almost 1700 words already....

in conclusion

1)This is the BEST BIRTHDAY I EVER HAD!!!!
2)I feel even more connected to Jesus after the cg
3)I am not going to be the same again
4)I'm transformed by the Holy Spirit
5)I'm blessed
6)I laid down my life on the altar of GOD
7)One word by him i will DEFINITELY follow
8)My heart was broken to him
9)I'm open to GOD to use me
10)I found my purpose in Jesus
11)I will not be afraid of the obstacles ahead
12)I know Jesus will be there for me
13)I will bring my troubles up to him
14)I will cling to him no matter wat
15)I will repent from all my sins and obey GOD
16)I will not worry abt the unnecessary anymore
17)My only worry time will be during my prayer time where everything is lifted up to Jesus
18)I WILL BE ON FIRE FOR JESUS MY SAVIOUR, MY HEALER & MY LORD!!!!!!!!

Jesus
i thank u for blessing me with everything i have now and will have in the future
i thank u for blessing each and everyone who hlp me in my walk of faith
i thank u for giving me the chance to meet them
i thank u for being there for me
i thank u for listening to my prayers
i thank u for changing my life
i thank u for creating City Harvest Church
i thank u Jesus for being u
**********************************************************************************
i actually took 2 hours to blog this entry lol....but i'm watching the 5pm live svc of CHC at the same time :p

i will always remember this special day in my heart.

Countdown

2007-06-06T22:10:00.000+08:00

hmm.....today finished MA1 presentation......
whew.....heaved a sigh of relieve.....
ambrose really very scarey......
but he say our class did well
say we are currently the best among his tut class
but i heard that he told the same to dbf 06 also lol.....

nvm just glad it is over left friday hand in BFI report
then projects are officially over....(or at least this wk due ones lol)
then have to go into study mood liao.......

maybe i'm too relaxed in my studies....
must buck up and revise more after my birthday lol :p
must prove to dad.....
becoming a christian will actually motivates me to work harder for my studies
***********************************************************************
countdown of 6 days....
my sec sch friends actually organising a birthday celebration for me at East Coast lol
currently is like 18 ppl already haha.....
very touched......miss them a lot also.......
look forward to seeing them after ages..... (",)

I decided.....

2007-06-05T20:35:00.000+08:00

No point dwelling over wat i cannot solve....
i'm like just crying over my misery.....
but wat gd will it do?

Pastor Kong had said:
We do have needs
We do have things that we are concerned and worried abt but
Jesus u said
Look at the lilies in the field
Look at the birds of the air
they neither grief nor worry or panic
because our heavenly father provides for all of them
and we are worth MORE than the lilies
we are worth MORE than the sparrows
Not a single strand of hair will fall from our head to the ground with Jesus knowing abt it.

i should just concentrate on Jesus's teachings not my own misery......
Jesus i'm sorry......
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got a worship song really describes my feelings......

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about u
It's all about u Jesus

I'm sorry Lord for the things i've made it
when it's all abt u
it's all abt u Jesus
******************************************************************************
nowadays everyone around me seems to be very troubled and stressed.....
is it because those who are born in the yr of snake really have a bad year....

sigh......
知不知道為什麼人總覺得過去比現在好因為過去的已經過去了就這麼簡單

Translation:
Do you know why people always feel that the past is better than the present?
Because wat had passed had passed.
It's that simple.

IT'S ONLY MONDAY!!!!

2007-06-04T18:16:00.000+08:00

start with something happy 1st.....
ytd i downloaded E-BIBLE TO MY N71......
it is sooooooo COOL.....
from now on i can read it everywhere and anyway....
wat's more it is
practically no weight....(except my hp weight of course) =D
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seems like nowadays i'm particularly looking forward for
church svc (sun) & cell grp(fri)
wonder why???
maybe because i can see my beloved cg members =)
maybe because it gives me peace.....
or maybe just because i dun feel like staying home......
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Sigh....feel very stupid....
feel like knocking my head on the wall.....
why do i ALWAYS have to make the mistake
BEFORE
realising it is WRONG....
shouldnt had that "talk"
seems to only worsen the situation
maybe i dun really know my parents at all
trying to act like nothing happen is hard....
the thorn will always be in the hearts....
heart and mind is soooooo NOT at peace!!!!

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ARGH!!!!! 18 BIRTHDAY FASTER COME!!!!!!!!

have a feeling that only after my birthday will i start anew
live a fresh new life
live a life of a Christian
live a life that belongs to me.......

Worst Sat Night

2007-06-03T12:02:00.000+08:00

Ytd my prayers were answered....i was allowed to go to the sat svc with most of my cg ppl. It was a very memorable day as well with lots of surprises.....there was this taiwan pop artist who proposed to his gf in front of the whole church lol....didnt really know him i also forgot his name already lol.....then it was Sun Ho's birthday also and the church gave her a surprise also with cake and flowers......reminds me of my coming birthday also.....

i guess i could understand why vincent like to stay in church for so long......
the singing of the songs......
the unity of the church.....
singing as one single voice....

i could only stay till 8.30 had to leave....
but i really enjoyed
really hope that time will nv pass.....
i even hope to stay for another 3 hours
unrealistic i know......

came back home at 10.20pm....
had a confrontation talk with my parents....
but it was 3 of them(including my sis) against me.....
never cried so badly before.......
they really dun understand
i duno how to make them understand....

Thx for the encouragement from everyone...
really appreciated it.....

when everything is in darkness,
light of friendship will be the brightest.

Emerge 2007

2007-06-01T20:04:00.000+08:00

hey i forgot to blog abt the Emerge 07 that i went to City Harvest Church ytd lol.....

svc is supposed to start at 10am but we(my cell grp ppl n I) had to meet at 8.30am and queue up lol.....it was very hot and very long queue....catherine(my cg leader) said some ppl queued at 7am lol.....but it was at singapore expo lol i had to get out of house at 7am to reach there at 8.30am haha.......

i didnt get to stay for the whole svc because i was going to the PC show at suntec city but i really enjoyed the time i stayed there.....ytd we actually sang for a whole hour lol but i dun mind more haha.......

i really love the worship song that was sung by alison yap....i thought my tears had dried up but everytime i hear and sing that song.....it seems that fresh tears will appear..... here is a bit of lyrics of the song

Who am I
That u would know me right from the start
set me apart
Who am I
That u would place eternity into my heart
.........
.........(forgot the lyrics here)

(My favourite part)
One life I lay at ur altar
One love I have with u
Touch me again
Fill me as u hold
My outstretched hands

One word u know i will follow
One heart broken to u
Use me again
Ur mercies follow me
For all my days

Really whenever i sing this i will feel like crying i just duno why......maybe i feel very touched ba

I really want to know more abt Jesus.....
but.....Mum, Dad do u really understand how I feel???
I want to grow up both in faith and in my life???
I really want to go for bible study too.....sigh.....
***************************************************
ok enough abt ytd i'm going to glorify God today!!!
I missed going to church already since ytd only went for like 1hr plus
didnt feel satisfied yet.....
i was thinking only sun then can go then just now on the way back home
i called my mum and she said maybe tmr after going malaysia tmr go to the sat svc with me
hee.....although she say no guarantee must see whether dad will object
but at least God did answer my prayers and i may have the chance to go tmr =)
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Oh and today is the 1st of june already hee.....
countdown to 12th of june my 18th birthday =)=)=)
i have a feeling this yr birthday would be very different......
cause it is my 1st birthday as a Christian after a spiritual reborn!!!
cause it is my 1st 18 birthday!!!!(lol 1st and last 18th birthday how many 18th birthday can a person have haha)
cause Jesus is with me =)=)=)

Jesus please grant me 2 birthday wishes......
May my walk of faith with u be smooth without obstacles......
May u bless everyone around me especially those who are troubled a wish to help them through.....
I pray this in your precious and almighty name. AMEN!!!!

A New Blog-1st Entry

2007-05-31T23:02:00.000+08:00

Hey to be honest it has been years since i had a blog the last one i had was around erm....i think sec 3 maybe and it was hosted at my friend's web lol....

U all may asked hey why the sudden interest to start a blog after so many years?
I guess it is becaz this year or should i say this 2 months a lot of changes happened in my life more than the whole 17 years add up i think. I need a place to write down my thoughts and record my growth hee.....

well for my close friends u should know that wat is happening....... the ans is

I'M A CHRISTIAN

and i say that out PROUD & LOUD!!!!!!

And chee leng i know u wanna know the reason so here it goes....
being a Christian had make me.....feel whole. I didnt even felt the emptyness in the past until i became a Christian. It made me realise just how much had i lost over the years.... The feeling of wholeness touches me so deeply in my heart that i almost cant believe it myself.....

Before i became a Christian, someone told me why did all the youngsters smoke, drink, go pubs everynight? it is because of the emptyness in their hearts. They couldnt find the thing that can made that whole. And that is GOD!!!

He gives me peace both mentally and physically.....it is really nice to know someone who wouldnt betray u forever and u will have someone to depend on in times of needs....(no offence to close friends but u know there are a lot of things that is hard to say)

Oh and i think i want to give credit to Vincent and Chee Leng also cause i have been reading their blogs and really feel that i should glorify Jesus in the same way that they do....(though not to the extent like Vincent's haha his is a bit too spiritual for my liking lol).

Getting a bit too long shall stop here today i actually have rwps test tmr lol but oh well i did study a bit and i believe God will bless me so that it will not be too hard to handle haha....

God bless everybody around me with smooth sailing in their lifes. =)

A New Blog

2007-05-31T22:31:00.001+08:00

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